DARREL CARSON
This time of year I get up around midnight to put wood on the fire. Sometimes I go right back to sleep, and other times, I lay there and contemplate. Last night was one of those nights for contemplation because recent life events have been a bit overwhelming. Now, I have total confidence that God has got this. That being said, however, sometimes life has a way of blindsiding me, and the impact of these life events can leave me staggering. This staggering reaction is especially true when my old coping mechanisms automatically kick in like ingrained habits. It is at these times that I have to get into God’s word to ground myself in the reality that our God is, indeed, sovereign and has everything under control.
I had been in this place of grounding myself in God’s word before going to sleep just a few hours earlier. To rely on my own power in the face of the struggle in front of me would have ended in disaster; relying on my old coping mechanisms would have led to bad choices and all they imply.
Instead I said, “Jesus, I believe in You, and I choose to rest in Your completed work on my behalf on the cross.” And with that, I went right to sleep. But now, awake again, I was contemplating how I should proceed.
In the past, while an Adventist, I’d make plans for navigating to the other side of an obstacle, or I would try to anticipate how to avoid temptation. More often than not, I’d fall flat on my face. But last night, I prayed to Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith. I admitted to Him my helplessness and need, and as I did, I was overwhelmed with the fact that He could see everything—every thought, every motive, and every emotion. He knew all about my feelings of inadequacy. He knew it all, but I wasn’t afraid.
Hebrews 4:11-13 came to mind. “Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall according to the same example of disobedience,” verse 11 says. Having been an Adventist all my life, I had known all about Sabbath rest—except for the fact that Jesus is the fulfillment of the Sabbath. For Israel, living under the old covenant, everything about Sabbath pointed forward to Jesus. For the new covenant believer, He is our true Sabbath Rest. In other words, we can rest in His completed work for our salvation. He even let us know that His saving work for us was complete when He said while dying, “It is finished.”
He lived a perfect life, but I lived a sinful life. He took my sin in His body and died my death. The life I now live is His perfect life that He gave to me as a free gift. He did the work, and I am allowed to rest in His completed work.
For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account (Heb. 4:12, 13).
As I lay awake realizing that God knew every hidden feeling and motive of my heart, I felt overwhelmed by that reality, but I felt no fear or apprehension. There I was, laid bare before Him. God’s Word had filleted me like a fish, and everything—and I mean everything—was open to the eyes of Him to whom I must give account—and I felt overwhelmed with peace and contentment. I felt forgiven, and most of all, loved.
The Sabbath rest that remains for the people of God is complete. There is nothing that needs to be added. Salvation is complete and sure, and my Savior loves me.
A filleted fish, though, never survives, and right then I knew that this death was a good thing.
A filleted fish, though, never survives, and right then I knew that this death was a good thing. My filleted flesh‚the part of me that was exposed by God’s word and laid bare before Him, was the part of me that condemned me. Galatians 2:20 came to my mind: “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”
You see, the part of me that is guilty is crucified with Christ. It’s dead. My natural self is not the one doing the living now; Jesus lives in me.
Yes, this physical body of mine with all its habituated responses was filleted by God’s word; it was crucified with Christ! So now I live in this body, and I do it by faith. It’s not me living my own life, but Jesus Christ living His perfect life in me. And that’s the reality of it.
I have spent many hours in the Word over the last year and a half after coming out of Adventism, and I feel like I just can’t get enough of the Bible. It is so beautiful, so clear and easy to understand now that I am not trying to fit it into a box that is much too small. As I lay there in the dark, the texts I had recently studied were coming back to my mind as the Holy Spirit taught me the things He wanted me to know.
The next text that came to my mind was from Romans 8. It was a text that I had never liked and couldn’t figure out why the Apostle Paul included it. Right at the end of the chapter where Paul is just starting to get warmed up listing all the things that can’t separate us from the love of God, he inserts a seemingly random quote, “As it is written: ‘For Your sake we are killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter”’ (Romans 8:36 NKJV). He then continues with the list of things that can’t separate us from God’s Love.
And then the light came on, and I understood; I’m not capable of separating myself from God’s love even if I wanted to! My natural self is dead, filleted, crucified with Christ. Dead people are dead, they can’t do anything. Never in my life have I ever been so glad to be dead! My new self is born of God, and I am hidden with Christ in Him (Col. 3:3).
And as I contemplated this new understanding, I drifted off to sleep.
Now that it’s morning and I am awake, I am convinced that those insights are reality because I got my Bible out and looked up all the texts. The living word of God verified that my experience in the night was not just a dream.
My old self cannot separate me from God; I am safe in Jesus. †
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Thank you Darrel for your candidacy this really rang true for me, I am only just getting to grips with the fact that Jesus is my rest everyday. That and knowing scripture is truth and Gods word can be relied on.