This past weekend we received another heart-wrenching letter. This one was from a young woman who is dating an Adventist. She has begun investigating Adventism in depth, however, since she attended church with him a couple of months ago and found herself separated from the men and in an all-women’s meeting where the teachers instructed the women on their responsibility to keep men’s thoughts pure by wearing modest clothing.
Ellen White seemed to have counsel for every imaginable situation, and women’s behavior and clothing were no exception. Below is the letter we received and our response to the writer.
The Letter
I am not an Adventist, but my boyfriend and his family are. At first I began to attend their church without really thinking about it. I used to hear my boyfriend speak about them being the remnant church, and he told me how they were God’s chosen people and that the foundation of their church was mentioned in the Bible. I used to make fun of him and asked how it could be possible that the church of God was established in 1844! I mentioned how religions were created when people didn’t agree with what was being taught in the Bible, and they would go off and created their own. He used to be upset and didn’t want to speak to me because I made him questioned his religion.
After some time, I began to attend his church with him because he needed God in his life as he was going on a bad path. I didn’t question his church, and I accepted some of its message. There were instances here and there when I used to cringe at the messages they were conveying, though; they didn’t seem right.
I began to really look into Adventism about two months ago after a meeting we had in the church. On that day, the women and men were separate. The messages that were being sent left me shocked, angry, confused, and just mind-blown in a very negative way.
She talked about it being women’s fault for being raped, as they were “asking for it” in the way they were dressed.
The first sermon was given by a women who spoke about the way women needed to dress. She talked about it being women’s fault for being raped, as they were “asking for it” in the way they were dressed. I was astonished to hear that idea coming from someone in a church as this dangerous rhetoric exonerates men who rape of any fault.
The second woman, the pastor’s wife, began to advise women that in order for their men not to cheat on them, they needed to start dressing nicer at home, getting rid of any of their old under garments, and working a little less so they weren’t too tired to be intimate with their man when they got home.
What about a message on communication? Love? Compassion? A relationship centered on God? Wouldn’t that be a lot more helpful in a relationship?
I started to really look into the teachings and history of this church. I was shocked to know that not only did Ellen plagiarized her work, but she also distorted the word of God. I have acquired all this knowledge, and I am angry.
I told my boyfriend about it, but he only wants to focus on the Bible. He tells me I am breaking him with all this information.
I went to church with him again last Saturday, and the pastor was preaching the message of the three angels, reminding everyone of the beginning of the investigative judgement that began on October 22, 1844. He told a White lie, saying that Miller predicted the second coming to be in 1844, but he was incorrect because it wasn’t the date when Jesus returned but rather it was the date He moved from the Holy to the Most Holy Place.
I know this teaching is a false, and I told my boyfriend so, but he wants evidence using the Bible.
I know this teaching is a false, and I told my boyfriend so, but he wants evidence using the Bible. He still believes in his church (to an extent) because he says they derive information from the Bible. I tell him that just because they do so, doesn’t mean they are doing so correctly.
I do need the help, as much as I can get to show him out of this false religion using biblical truths.
I am in dire need of help.
My Response
Thank you for writing. You are right to look into this “church”; it is not actually a true church because Adventism does not teach the biblical gospel. I am going to give you some links that will help you understand Adventism, and I will also give you some quotes that hopefully will help you understand where this horrific teaching about men and women comes from.
I want to mention your comment that Adventism doesn’t derive its Bible information correctly. You are right. They use proof-texts to support their doctrines, and those texts are yanked out of their contexts and thus twisted to say things they do not mean when read as they appear in the Bible. Adventism does not honor the original meanings of the words as they would have been understood by the first audiences, nor do they worry if the context around their proof-texts delivers a completely different message than the texts deliver on their own.
This first article I’m linking explains the Adventist worldview and how it differs from biblical Christianity. It is detailed, but it is heavily cited, and it explains the framework of false definitions that prevent Adventists from reading Scripture literally. Their worldview has been established by the interpretations and visions of Ellen White, but most Adventists do not realize that their beliefs are based on her. They insist their beliefs are all based on the Bible, but they use out-of-context proof texts as their biblical support and do not consider either context or the complete witness of Scripture when grabbing their proof texts to say what they want them to say. Here is a link to “What Is Seventh-day Adventism?”
As for the men’s and women’s meetings—that is typical historic Adventism. There are two books that heavily influenced mid-century American Adventist youth: On Becoming A Man and On Becoming A Woman by Dr. Harold Shryock. Originally written in 1951 and updated in 1968, these two books were widely read in Adventism. Parents gave them to their sons and daughters as they approached their teens, and these books incorporated Ellen White’s sex instructions in updated language.
Shryock’s advice on avoiding sexual sin included dressing modestly and avoiding compromising situations. His advice included Ellen White’s counsel that avoiding spicy foods could help a young man or woman avoid falling into the sin of masturbating. Even today these books, officially out of stock on the Adventist Book Center website, may still be ordered by phone.
Hence, the traditional concern within Adventism that children and adults avoid masturbation and illicit sexual experiences yielded adults with twisted ideas about marital relations as well.
I say all this to illustrate that within Adventism, sexual behavior and propriety typically demands much attention. Ironically, however, the concern about teaching children and young adults to avoid sexual experimentation never includes the biblical gospel and consequently does not control the common sexual inappropriate behaviors and abuses within Adventism. Hence, the traditional concern within Adventism that children and adults avoid masturbation and illicit sexual experiences yielded adults with twisted ideas about marital relations as well. In other words, discussing matters of sex without the fact that we can be born again through understanding that the Lord Jesus took our personal sin to the cross and died as a propitiation for them leaves both children and adults helpless.
Without being born again through the gospel of the Lord Jesus, people have no choice except to become compulsive about their temptations and sins. Knowing they are NOT to do certain behaviors means they think about those behaviors when temptations come, and the hapless Adventists have almost no choice except to struggle against desires that their natural selves have no power to stop.
Wives must refrain from exciting their husbands
In fact, Ellen White herself counseled wives to help their husbands avoid gratifying their “animal passions” in this quote from Adventist Home:
Oh, that I could make all understand their obligation to God to preserve the mental and physical organism in the best condition to render perfect service to their Maker! Let the Christian wife refrain, both in word and act, from exciting the animal passions of her husband. Many have no strength at all to waste in this direction. From their youth up they have weakened the brain and sapped the constitution by the gratification of animal passions. Self-denial and temperance should be the watchword in their married life. {AH 123.1} [emphasis ours]
Ellen White wrote much about appropriate clothing, both from the perspective that Adventist women should not be slaves to the styles of the day including the long hemlines that often dragged on the ground as well as the wasp-waisted styles demanding a tightly-laced corset. She had advice for both men and women about dressing appropriately, ranging from telling how give a professional appearance when addressing crowds to counseling wives about dressing nicely at home where their husbands and children could appreciate their carefulness.
Ellen White’s counsel to Fannie Bolton, her companion and ghost-writer for many years, reveals her sharp resentment when Fannie dressed too “worldly” when she stood before a “large crowd”:
Fannie, wherever you go, wherever you may be, you need to study that the colors and material and style of your dress should be adapted to, and correspond with, your age and to the faith you profess. You remember I made the remark to Elder Olsen that when at Preston you were destitute of suitable clothing and felt too poor to supply yourself with what you should have. The remarks you made showed that you did not understand me. I want to be understood now. You need comfortable underclothing, which you must have in order to have health. But I certainly do not, in all respects, approve of your style of dress. I felt rather sad and ashamed when you stood upon the platform before the large crowd under the tent, with that light, large-figured dress. It was not appropriate for the occasion. Your judgment in the matter of dress may be much improved, and I hope you will not consult your dressmaker but those who are of sensible minds and who will not flatter you or have any guile in their mouths as to suitable clothing that will make a proper impression upon the minds of both believers and unbelievers. We who claim to be in the light, and who take prominent positions to instruct others in children’s meetings, need to be severely plain, yet tidy and tasteful, in dress; we should not give a semblance of excuse to any for patterning after the worldly, changing fashions of this corrupt age. Those who dress after the order given in the Bible can, with appropriate words, help others to reach a proper standard. Do not come to me to ask how you shall dress. If our sisters have the Spirit of God abiding as a living principle in the heart, they will not in a single instance give occasion for any to turn aside the counsels of God by quoting the ministers’ wives or those engaged in giving Bible-readings. Ever have your dress of good, durable material, and modest colors; let it be made plainly, without adornment. You certainly need to improve in your style of dress.—Letter 7, 1894. {PaM 63.4} [emphasis ours]
This paragraph reveals at least three things about Ellen White. First, she had no trouble reprimanding those who worked for her when they irritated her. She suggests that Fannie dressed according to current fashion and outright told her not to consult “your dressmaker” but instead to take the advice of “those who are sensible” and who would not “flatter” her or “have any guile in their mouths” when they advised Fannie how to dress in front of a crowd. Ellen, it seems, resented Fannie’s looking stylish and perhaps didn’t want her to “outshine” Ellen herself. Of course, this conclusion is not stated, but from the words of the paragraph above it seems clear that Ellen wanted Fannie to look austere and plain, even severe. Apparently Ellen believed that she herself had the proper good sense to advise Fannie about appropriate clothing.
“Not one penny should be spent for a circlet of gold to testify that we are married”.
Special Testimonies to Ministers and Workers, No 3. p. 6.1
Second, Ellen insisted that clothing be sensible, serviceable, and plain. “Adornment” was simply not allowed. Ellen did not want those representing her to catch the appreciative eye of the audience, but even more, plain dressing was considered pious. The true Adventists were not to adorn themselves; she even condemned wearing wedding rings, stating, “Not one penny should be spent for a circlet of gold to testify that we are married” (Special Testimonies to Ministers and Workers, No 3. p. 6.1).
Third, the above quote reveals Ellen White’s understanding of the Holy Spirit. She does not understand Him to be a person as Jesus explained Him in John 14–17. Rather, she calls the Holy Spirit a “living principle”. This understanding, written in 1894 years after her husband James (an adamant anti-trinitarian) had died, demonstrates that to her the Holy Spirit is merely an impersonal force, or “principle”, that gives the Adventist power to make right decisions. The fact that an Adventist cannot be thought automatically to have the Holy Spirit in his or her heart without trusting Jesus’ finished work alone would not have been a concept she understood, because the Adventist “gospel” is not the biblical gospel.
EGW’s admonishments to women
Allowing Ellen to speak for herself gives us a clearer picture of her belief that women are responsible both for controlling lust in those who see them and for guarding their own virtue by the clothes they wear. Following are some of her counsels to women about their mandate to dress plainly and modestly:
The Bible teaches modesty in dress. “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel.” 1 Timothy 2:9. This forbids display in dress, gaudy colors, profuse ornamentation. Any device designed to attract attention to the wearer or to excite admiration is excluded from the modest apparel which God’s Word enjoins. {CG 423.2}
Self-denial in dress is a part of our Christian duty. To dress plainly and abstain from display of jewelry and ornaments of every kind is in keeping with our faith. Are we of the number who see the folly of worldlings in indulging in extravagance of dress as well as in love of amusements? {CG 423.3}
The love of dress endangers the morals and makes woman the opposite of the Christian lady characterized by modesty and sobriety. Showy, extravagant dress too often encourages lust in the heart of the wearer and awakens base passions in the heart of the beholder. God sees that the ruin of the character is frequently preceded by the indulgence of pride and vanity in dress. He sees that the costly apparel stifles the desire to do good. {CCh 182.3}
My sisters, avoid even the appearance of evil. In this fast age, reeking with corruption, you are not safe unless you stand guarded. Virtue and modesty are rare. I appeal to you as followers of Christ, making an exalted profession, to cherish the precious, priceless gem of modesty. This will guard virtue. {CCh 182.6}
Chaste simplicity in dress, when united with modesty of demeanor, will go far toward surrounding a young woman with that atmosphere of sacred reserve which will be to her a shield from a thousand perils. {CCh 182.7}
Wonderful is the mission of the wives and mothers and the younger women workers. If they will, they can exert an influence for good to all around them. By modesty in dress and circumspect deportment they may bear witness to the truth in its simplicity. They may let their light so shine before all that others will see their good works and glorify their Father which is in heaven. A truly converted woman will exert a powerful transforming influence for good. Connected with her husband, she may aid him in his work and become the means of encouragement and blessing to him. When the will and way are brought into subjection to the Spirit of God, there is no limit to the good that can be accomplished.—Manuscript 91, 1908.
We are urged by the Spirit of the Lord to bear a pointed testimony against the idolatry of dress in this age. If we are right with God, we will discard everything of a deforming character, such as panniers, bustles, unnecessary plaiting, and fashionable arrangement of the dress upon the body. Ministers and ministers’ wives should be an example in reproving the fashionable display in our sisters who claim to believe the truth. They should have their children dressed in a way that God would approve, presenting them to the church in simplicity and modesty of apparel. Far greater pains should be taken to instruct them so that they shall have beautiful characters and keep the way of the Lord than to have them make a stylish appearance, taking the way of the Sodomites. {Lt10-1888.19}
Adventism is not Christian
Finally, I have to say this: Adventism is not Christian. It teaches a fallible Jesus who could have failed in His mission and who did not complete the atonement on the cross. Adventism also teaches a false understanding of the nature of man, denying that man has an immaterial spirit that survives the body at death. This belief denies the literal fact that we are born spiritually dead and must be made alive through the new birth. Further, Adventism teaches the eternal significance of the Sabbath, saying that even God observes the Sabbath in heaven, and it insists that Ellen White was a true messenger of God.
Ultimately we have to say that a Christian should not consider marriage to an Adventist. I am going to give you a link to one more article we have written to a Christian who had an Adventist fiancé: Help! My Fiancé Is An Adventist!
Here are a few more links that I believe you will find very helpful. All our back issues of Proclamation! magazine are online here: http://www.lifeassuranceministries.org. You might also enjoy our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/user/FormerAdventist/featured. Also, I encourage you to subscribe to our podcasts here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/former-adventist/id1482887969.
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Thank you for highlighting the explicit and implicit sexism that exists in SDA culture and policy! Bless you!