Adventism Disrupting A Marriage
Hi! I’ve been trying to help my husband see the light for over 10 years now, and our differences (his religion and growing up Adventist) keep him bound with cognitive dissonance. Recently, God has been shaking things up in our marriage and is asking me to learn and be well-versed on Scripture. I need to know why Adventism is a completely false teaching and not the gospel. I NEED him to know there’s better news.
When we got married there was no mention of Adventism; we got married, and boom! He claims he picks and chooses from Adventism and from our non-denominational church, but that’s not OK with me.
Can you help me with these two verses, Matthew 5:17-5:19 and 2 Timothy 4:1, because he likes to constantly bring these up to tell me I’m wrong.
Thank you so much!
—VIA EMAIL
Response: Thank you for writing! These texts are classic examples of Adventist proof-texting. First we’ll look at Matthew 5:17–19. These texts need to be read with verse 20 attached. In context, verses 17–20 say this:
“Do not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish but to fulfill.
“For truly I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or stroke shall pass from the Law until all is accomplished.
“Whoever then annuls one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others [to do] the same, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever keeps and teaches [them,] he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.
“For I say to you that unless your righteousness surpasses [that] of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven (Mat 5:17-20).
Jesus is saying that He Himself came to FULFILL the entire law—to fill it full of meaning. By saying He did not come to abolish the law, He means that He, as a Jew born under the law and also as God the Son, He came and perfectly did everything the law required and accomplished its purpose. At the center of the law is a death sentence: the terms of the law are blessings for obedience and death for disobedience. The Lord Jesus not only perfectly KEPT the law, but He also perfectly took the curse of the law (Gal. 3:13). He literally took our imputed sin into Himself—He became sin for us (2 Cor. 5:21)—so that we might become the righteousness of God in Christ.
The Lord Jesus fulfilled even the death sentence for sinners.
His fulfilling the law means that He perfectly kept its terms and took its curse and broke the claim of sin on humanity. Now all who believe and trust in HIM do not come into judgment but have passed out of death into life (Jn. 5:24).
Further, Jesus was speaking here to a Jewish audience BEFORE He went to the cross. Not one of the laws could be annulled; every jot and tittle of the law was given by God (not Moses), and the Lord Jesus literally fulfilled the whole law. At the time He gave this sermon, He had not yet died and risen; when He did, the law was fulfilled. When it was fulfilled by Jesus Himself, it no longer had authority over those who believe HIM. He replaces the law as our rule of faith and practice.
In verse 20 Jesus explains that the meticulous law-keeping of the Pharisees isn’t good enough. One cannot keep the law adequately to please God. One can only obtain righteousness by surpassing perfect law-keeping. The only way to obtain this surpassing righteousness is to believe in the One who fulfilled the law. Prior to Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection, the Jews would have been trampling on God’s word had they dismissed even one commandment—and the “commandments” do not refer only to the Ten.
The commandments of the law included not boiling a kid in its mother’s milk; not mixing linen and wool; ritually cleansing after touching a dead body or a leper, and so forth. Every one of these commandments was equally important, and not ONE of them could be dismissed because every single one was part of the shadow of the law (Heb. 10:1) that pointed to Jesus. Only Jesus fulfilled these laws, and until He died and rose again and initiated the new covenant in His blood, the Jews had to keep every single one of these commands because they pointed to Him.
For us on THIS side of the cross, we see that the Lord Jesus Himself fulfilled the entire law. Hebrews 7 explains that under Jesus’s priesthood, there must be a change of the law (Heb. 7:12).
This passage is not a proof-text for our keeping the law. It was an explanation of the fact that the law was a complete unit, and the Jews were responsible for keeping all of it—and still they would not attain the righteousness that surpassed the Pharisee’s righteousness. Only in Jesus is true righteousness available.
As for 2 Timothy 4:1, that is a partial sentence, and I can’t find a doctrinal teaching there that is problematic. Do you mean 1 Timothy 4:1? It is also a partial sentence, but it warns that in later times, some will fall away from the faith and pay attention to doctrines of demons.
If you are referring to 1 Timothy 4:1, verses 2–5 explain exactly what kinds of doctrines of demons will be taught. People will forbid marriage and the eating of foods which God created to be gratefully shared in by those who believe and know the truth. Catholicism, for example, forbids marriage among its priests. Adventism also forbids foods that God created to be eaten. Jesus declared all foods clean in Mark 7:19. Nothing is to be refused by those who BELIEVE God and trust Jesus!
Context determines meaning. One cannot take verses out of context and apply meanings to them that are not there in the text.
Trying to Reach Adventist Husband
I feel like it’s been a very long time since I last wrote. But trust me, I don’t miss a podcast.
I’m sorry to hear of the loss of Dale Ratzlaff, but so glad to hear that he is home. He is in paradise. So, my condolences to you and yours, but my joy for him.
Frankly, I’m a little jealous of Dale right now. I’m so tired. I try so hard to be supportive of my husband, to love and share the good news of Jesus. To help him find a way to let go of “the whole truth”, as he calls it—the truth that he found “through 20 years of research” on his own. I have since learned that he is essentially disenfranchised by the entire Adventist church system. In fact, from his own mouth, it would appear that we agree on just about everything. However, not Ellen White. No.
Maybe that’s the problem—I try too hard.
I can’t think of anyone to talk to about this situation except the two of you…My mom and my friends understand my frustration, but not his entrenchment. Adventist friends of mine have their own leanings. There’s one really sweet woman my own age who left the Adventist church and is trying to work things out on her own with her husband right now, but she is nowhere near the strength of pure gospel belief that I am. I really have no one. I don’t know. It’s just tiring.
—VIA EMAIL
Response: I am so sorry for the very hard situation you are in right now! I understand how HARD it is to have an entrenched Adventist in your life. You really are facing a huge energy drain!…
You hinted that perhaps you are trying too hard. The fact that you suspect you may be, and that you are so weary, suggests to me that you are likely right. Remember that Jesus said not to cast one’s pearls before swine, because the swine would trample the pearls into the mud and then turn and rend you. Now, your husband is not a pig—I’m not suggesting such a thing. What I am suggesting is that Jesus gave this helpful instruction because He knew that if we persist in arguing truth to someone who doesn’t want to be “told”, we help to increase their sin. The harder we argue and “prove” things to an unreceptive person, the harder they double-down, and they steel their hearts against the truth because they don’t want to be proven wrong.
One you have said the truth and clarified what Scripture says and clarified where you stand, it’s our privilege, as believers, to leave the other in Jesus’s hands. He knows how to teach them what they need to know. Belief is HIS work in us; we can’t make another person receive truth. God, though, knows how to open your husband’s heart.
Pray that the Lord will show you how to love your husband for Him. Ask Him to show you how to be silent instead of arguing and how to honor your husband and love him. Your non-confrontational support will be far more powerful to him than persistent explaining.
Look at 1 Peter 3:1–6:
In the same way, you wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if any [of them] are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, as they observe your pure conduct with fear. Your adornment must not be [merely] external–braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on garments; but [let it be] the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible quality of a lowly and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being subject to their own husbands, just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You have become her children if you do good, NOT FEARING ANY INTIMIDATION (1Pe 3:1-6).
The Lord knows how to hold your heart. He wants you to live in the rest that comes from trusting Him. Thank God for your husband and for the fact that he believes much of what you do. Ask Him to reveal the truth to him, and ask Him to quiet your heart and to entrust your husband to Him. Your persistence will not yield belief in your husband. Trusting God as you honor and respect your husband will be more powerful. God knows how to bring him the truth!
I hope this helps, and please feel free to email anytime. †
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