NICOLE STEVENSON
I’m not a risk taker in obvious ways, but I tend to play “chicken” with fast-approaching deadlines. Hi, my name is Nicole and I am a procrasti-cleaner.
Procrasti-cleaning is the process of putting off a more pressing deadline while accomplishing other seemingly important cleaning and organizing tasks. Work that is ordinarily important becomes a tool used to put off the work you really need to face doing.
This week as my blog deadline has been looming, I’ve managed to get to some projects I’ve put off a little too long—boy, does it feel good to have those done! Even so, as I sat to write I was still uncertain of what to say. As I began to sort through possible ideas, I nearly heard the voice of my beloved editor (hello, Colleen) saying, “Write what you know.”
Well, I know procrasti-cleaning—and not just in the physical sense. I know the temptation to procrasticlean in the spiritual sense as well. If you’ve ever been an Adventist, you probably know what I’m talking about.
Spiritual Procrasti-cleaning
Was it just me or did you ever feel like before you could truly approach God you had to “do better” in life? You had to care more about his Ten Commandments; you had to repent of the sins you loved and weren’t ready to let go of. I know I felt that before I could really be secure in my relationship with God, I had to be sure I understood and could even teach the 28 Fundamental Beliefs (if you listen to the Former Adventist Podcast, you will recognize the humor in this thought).
Good Adventists, I believed, lived what the prophet taught. They were good stewards of their health, education, finances, and time. They kept the Sabbath faithfully; they didn’t eat, drink, or entertain themselves in ways contrary to Ellen G. White’s teachings. They served the “church” and understood Adventist prophecy. They were “awake” and “ready” for Jesus to return.
I believed that until I could get my life on track with this plan, I couldn’t really face God personally with any integrity. I knew I had to face Him, but first I had to clean up a few things. I had to be worthy, and I had to be worthy enough to be wanted by Him at all.
Straight from the Prophet’s Pen
Is it any wonder so many of us felt compelled to ready ourselves before approaching or facing God? Whether it was the influence of Uncle Arthur, a children’s story on Saturday morning, or the words of the prophetess herself, we knew we had to do our part to stand right before God.
“Many are forfeiting the condition of acceptance with the Father. We need to examine closely the deed of trust wherewith we approach God. If we are disobedient, we bring to the Lord a note to be cashed when we have not fulfilled the conditions that would make it payable to us. We present to God His promises, and ask Him to fulfill them, when by so doing He would dishonor His own name” (Ellen G. White, Pr. 68.1).
Then there was the matter of getting ready for the crisis of the last days. We couldn’t know if we’d live forever with God until we knew how we came out of that promised season of persecution and torture. There was no way to know if we would be faithful, but we could do all we could to prepare for that terrible day—only it would have been a lot easier to do had I been born on a prairie in the early 1900s. I wasn’t very good at sautéing an onion let alone growing one!
“The Protestant world have set up an idol Sabbath in the place where God’s Sabbath should be, and they are treading in the footsteps of the Papacy. For this reason I see the necessity of the people of God moving out of the cities into retired country [places,] where they may cultivate the land and raise their own produce. Thus they may bring their children up with simple, healthful habits. I see the necessity of making haste to get all things ready for the crisis. (Ellen G. White, Letter 90, 1897).
Besides these problems, there was the matter of even knowing whether or not God loved me. How could I approach God when He was disappointed in me because I wasn’t behaving? If I had grieved Him away with my sin, I needed to lure Him back by being worthy of His love.
In a letter to her son Willie, Ellen G. White put her worldview on display and brought it all down to its logical conclusions. God only loves you if you are good enough.
“The Lord loves those little children who try to do right and He has promised that they shall be in His kingdom; but wicked, naughty children, God does not love. He will not take them to the beautiful city, for He only admits the good, obedient and patient children there. One fretful, disobedient child would spoil all the harmony of heaven.
“When you feel tempted to speak impatient and fretful [words], remember the Lord sees you and will not love you if you do wrong. When you do right and overcome wrong feelings, the Lord smiles upon you. Although He is in heaven, and you cannot see Him, yet He loves you. When you do right [He] writes it down in His book; and when you do wrong, He puts a black mark against you.” (1LtMs, Lt 3, 1860, par. 3,4) – Ellen G. White
No wonder I embraced procrasti-cleaning. I knew as I knew the sky was blue that I had a lot of self-help projects to do before getting to the loftier goal of approaching God in a worthy manner. I so feared approaching Him—but I could assuage my sense of failure by keeping busy with religious activities that passively promised to help get me on track.
First Ellen’s Plan, Then God’s Plan…?
As long as I dizzied myself with plans to “one day” read and understand the 28 Fundamental Beliefs and last day prophecies, or to perfect Sabbath-keeping eventually, or to work myself up to dying-to-self and selling my entire life to the three angles messages, I felt justified in walking wide circles around my Bible and avoiding much prayer life. I had a plan to get to God’s plan—eventually—after figuring out Ellen’s plan.
In the meantime I managed to sit on an Adventist elder board and to help teach the high school Sabbath School class. Yet the people who knew me probably wouldn’t have known what was going on inside my head. That’s the thing about deception: a false gospel, by its nature, has a way of offering a false sense of confidence and morality— but it has a private tell-tale “fingerprint”: it can’t make the emptiness go away.
Always God’s Plan!
A. W. Tozer said, “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” When I was an Adventist and I thought about God, I was afraid! I had no idea how I would face God at all, let alone after the great coming crisis of the last day test of faith which I was certain I’d fail! I lived with the knowledge that I was a disappointment to God.
While I lived in the darkness of those who are cut off from God (Eph. 2: 1-3;12), in the distance I always saw a light like the sun at the end of a long dark train tunnel—like a promise. I didn’t know the God of the Bible yet, and I didn’t know how to know Him, but I felt in a way I cannot explain that He wanted me to know Him—even as the broken sinner I was. It was as if there was something I knew I didn’t know, but that one day I would.
Then, in God’s timing and according to God’s plan, along came Scripture and the illumination of the Holy Spirit! Galatians, Ephesians, Romans, Colossians, then Hebrews, John, and all the rest all worked together to shred the Adventist god I knew and to show me the God of Scripture and the truth about salvation. The light illuminated truth and sent the cockroaches of deception scattering! I finally stood in the full light of the Son—and everything looks different in the Son! I finally knew that I was a daughter of God and that He chose me from before the foundations of the earth (Eph 1:4)!
Only God Sanctifies and Sustains
Contrary to so much of what Ellen G. White wrote or “was shown”, there is no cleaning required before coming to God! In fact, according to Scripture we come dead in sin, and He not only brings us to life in Christ, He is also the One who cleans us up! (Ephesians 2: 1-10; 5:26,27). All we’re to do is to believe and to trust! We are only to believe and confess what the Bible says about us and about God—about our need and about His provision! We must act on what we believe and repent of our sinful nature and turn toward and entrust the God who offers us life eternal and a place in His family.
Friends, it is precisely because the God of the Bible loves naughty children that He came and died (John 3:16)! When we believe the gospel of Scripture, we are sealed by Him and made alive in Him (Eph 1, 2). He keeps us forever, by His power through faith, working in us the transformation that only He knows how to accomplish (1 Peter 1:1-5)! Our Father will not abandon us to evil, to temptation, to the world, or to ourselves (Romans 8:31-19). God will keep us in Him, in Salvation, through our trials, and in the perpetual joy that comes from knowing Him!
We are not ordained for God’s wrath, so we can encourage (not terrify) each other with the promise of the soon coming of Jesus (1 These 5:9-11)! We can face that day with supernatural courage because He causes us to stand firm in the last days! All of the armor of God is God Himself— His salvation, His righteousness, His activity (the good news of the gospel), His gift to us of faith, His truth, and His word (Eph 6:10-20)! We stand in the evil day in Him and we pray with thanksgiving! When we know the God of the Bible, when we entrust our whole selves to Him, when we are born again, we stand confidently before God knowing that there is no condemnation for us (Rom 8:1).
So whether we live in the country where we are free to farm, or we are urban or suburban dwellers, whether we are homeschoolers or our children attend school, whether we enjoy pepperoni on our pizza or we don’t, we who are in Christ all live by the faithfulness of God and the faith that He gives. We are all sanctified by His indwelling Spirit and His unfailing Word. The believer abides in Him and He in us, and we stand with confidence because He who is in us is greater than he who is in the world—and He is greater than he who seeks to deceive and enslave us!
“Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love” (1 John 4:15-18). †
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