But since we were torn away from you, brothers, for a short time, in person not in heart, we endeavored the more eagerly and with great desire to see you face to face. (1 Thess. 2:17)
I will not be breaking the news to you with my announcement that human beings were designed by God to relate deeply to one another. It began, of course, in the garden with the Creator’s own declaration: “It is not good for man to be alone.” God’s design for husbands and wives, and through them, children, is but one striking proof of our fundamental nature. Think about it. No one is ever only described as a human being. We are, and always will be, a son or a daughter. We may also be brothers and sisters. Most of us will be husbands and wives, and fathers and mothers. Even the sin of this world, the heartache endured through estrangement and divorce, does not change these realities.
There are, as well, larger relationships between human beings that God has instituted. Nations, business arrangements, and societal structures have all been put into place by our Maker for very specific reasons. Of course, the very nation of Israel was constituted by God to be a light to the nations and a people for His own possession (Deut 7:6). The people of God were to be a vehicle for His Messiah to come into the world: the man Jesus belonged to a people––he was not an island. Far surpassing any of these institutions created by God, however, is His church. This people is united together by a bond that transcends familial ties, language, or culture. This people is being gathered and united together on the basis of the blood-bought promises won by the Son of God.
Among His people are many former Seventh-day Adventists. They, too, belong to the universal family of God: the body of Jesus Christ. Nevertheless, although we truly are one, the particular circumstances of our call entail that many “formers” face various obstacles in their new walk with Christ. A multitude of realities confront many former Seventh-day Adventists who leave because they are now born-again Christians. How are they to relate to their natural families now that this radical change has come into their lives? How should they seek to integrate into their new family––the body of Christ? What is the role that other former Adventists can play for mutual encouragement and the building up of the church? I wanted to write this piece to help both former Adventists and Christians better understand the many challenges encountered in seeking out fellowship with other believers in Jesus Christ.
Growing up Adventist
Seventh-day Adventism (as the church boasts) is a truly global movement, being found in virtually all countries of the earth, even in remote Pacific outposts such as Pitcairn island. Yet despite this, a remarkable homogeneity exists within Adventism wherever one turns. I remember distinctly spending one vacation with my wife in Hawaii when I was still Adventist and attending the local church on Sabbath. I was struck by how familiar and similar everything looked and felt, right down to the lovely church potluck following church service. The warm blanket of Adventist culture seemed to even transcend and mask undeniable Adventist theological diversity: conservatives, moderates, and progressives all related to one another seemingly effortlessly in a distinctly Adventist cultural context.
This was the world many of us knew and in which we grew up. I daresay that there is even an element of nostalgia looking back at this world for many former Seventh-day Adventists who are now born-again believers. Many of us came from wonderful Adventist homes. Many of us loved Adventism and the community. Speaking personally, I was a fourth-generation Adventist who, although born in Latvia, went to Adventist preschool in the UK. Despite our culture shock, we fit right in when my family moved to Southern California. I, along with my brothers, went through the Adventist educational system (elementary, high school, and college).
And, of course, who could forget Friday sundown preparations for the Sabbath? Sabbath was a landmark institution intimately linked to family, good food, and special times. Things like the Sabbath, a focus on the family, an outwardly clean lifestyle, and temperance in living are what often attracts the world to Adventism (indeed, many parallels can be found here with Mormonism). Although stories of abuse, both physical and verbal, must be noted, many other former Seventh-day Adventists, I suspect, can relate to the picture that I paint.
And yet, and yet––in God’s providence the call of the gospel of Jesus Christ came to each one of us …
The call of Christ
Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. (Matt 10:37–38)
The words of a former violent persecutor of God’s church could apply to any of us: “But when he who had set me apart before I was born, and who called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son to me …” (Gal 1:15–16). What could possibly bring out an individual from such a place of deep connections to his family, his church, his culture? Only a revelation of Jesus Christ and Him crucified. At the end of the day, the strong pull of Seventh-day Adventism and all that is associated with it is not something that comes from God, but rather from the world system. Despite its carefully masked religious veneer, Adventism proclaims a different Jesus and a different gospel. As a result, most of us had to learn the hard and difficult way that we could not hold onto our beloved church and the biblical gospel at the same time. It would take, as Thomas Chalmers so famously stated it, “the expulsive power of a new affection” to rip us away from our families, our church, our home.
A new family
The truly born-again Christian will evidence fruit, demonstrating the reality of his conversion. This fruit is not the basis of any part of any believer’s salvation, rather, it is the demonstration that the God who has justified a sinner, declaring them to be right with Him, is now beginning a new work in that person’s life. The book of 1 John was written partly so that believers could examine their lives and see that God was truly at work in them. Jesus’ beloved disciple clearly demonstrates that this is his purpose at the end of his letter: “I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life” (1 John 5:13). Among the several “tests” John writes about is one that I want to focus on, which is also sometimes under-emphasized: love for the brethren.
John writes: “By this we know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers” (1 John 3:14). Isn’t that amazing? Who would have thought that such a seemingly unspiritual facet of the Christian life could provide evidence for such a colossal reality (namely that one has “passed out of death into life”)? And yet that truth is right here in Scripture for us to take in. The scriptural language of “brothers”(the Greek word adelphoi in this context refers to both brothers and sisters) is a reference to love for other believers whom Christ has redeemed and adopted into his own family.
This aspect of the new Christian life is deeply encouraging, yet in another sense, it can potentially be the source of much quiet yearning and longing, as former Adventists, now believers, navigate the space between their natural families and their adopted spiritual family. Of course, the story of each former is unique and different, bringing with it a whole host of special circumstances. Yet, it is inevitable that when many answer the call to follow Jesus, they will face not only the possibility of strained relationships with their Adventist families and communities, but also challenges as they grow into the body of Christ.
Former Seventh-day Adventists now believers in Jesus
Thankfully, by God’s grace, Scripture offers us a wealth of wisdom for living as Christians who are yet in this world. With regard to one’s own natural family, a former Adventist’s goal should not be to shun them or convey any feeling of detachment or superiority. Here, the words of Jesus in Luke 14:26 have often been misrepresented: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.” The teaching of Christ here is emphatically not the same as that which the cults often require of their members. Notice that Jesus not only mentions “hatred” for one’s relatives, but ultimately, and most profoundly, “hatred” of one’s own life. This is clearly not masochism, but rather a radical reorientation of values. The pull of Christ and His gospel is so strong for a born-again Christian that everything else in this world (including his own self) seem to be virtually reduced to nothing by comparison. We must also consider this passage with Christ’s teaching elsewhere, commanding us to love our neighbor, and of course, our families. Remember, too, that Christ castigated the scribes and teachers of the law for failing to honor and love their parents, even as they piously claimed to be devoted to God (see Mark 7:9–13). In some cases of abuse, of course, a healthy distance needs to be put in place, but that should by no means be assumed to be the norm.
What if a believer finds him or herself unequally yoked with an Adventist spouse? Here, too, Scripture provides help. The believer in Jesus has now been “delivered from the domain of darkness and transferred into the kingdom of His [God’s] beloved Son” (Col 1:13). It may well be the case that darkness and light are present and coexisting within such a marriage. For a number of reasons, the marriage may become especially strained because of the gap between the spiritual reality that Scripture portrays, and the cultivated surface image of Seventh-day Adventism as being a biblical movement. Unhappily, both Adventists and evangelical Christians are more often than not blind to the reality that the biblical words used by Adventists do not mean the same things as they do to Christians. Consequently, the need of one spouse to separate from Adventism may be regarded by the other as an extreme move that is unkind and unwarranted. After all, don’t Adventists love Jesus and believe in the gospel, too?
Whatever the circumstances, Scripture calls unequally yoked couples to remain together, for God has truly joined them together. It’s worth quoting at length Paul’s answer to the Corinthians’ question about such couples:
“To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace” (1 Corinthians 7:12–15).
These verses ought to be an encouragement to such formers. At the same time, they are a call for patience and endurance. It really does come down to believing God’s Word when it states that His Spirit is at work in one’s household, despite how difficult the situation may often seem. How should the believing spouse live in such a marriage? The goal of every Christian is to become more like Jesus Christ, being conformed to His image. This means that the believing husband is to love his Adventist wife as Christ loved the church (Eph 5:25). Likewise, the believing wife is to submit to her Adventist husband as she does to the Lord (Eph 5:22). While there may be situations where conflicts require a spouse to obey God rather than man, the truth of these commands that Paul gives to the Ephesians should not substantially change in a situation where one spouse is believing, and the other is still Adventist.
Because every believer is now truly part of the body of Christ, each should seek to become attached to a local expression of the universal church––namely, a local church. Becoming a member of a church is an acknowledgement of this inward reality and is a step of obedience to the Word of God. Furthermore, for any believer, including a former Seventh-day Adventist, this is absolutely essential for spiritual growth. We all, as members of one body, are given unique gifts by the Spirit that is for the building up of the body. This is the argument that Paul makes in 1 Corinthians 12. Just as a hand, or ear, or foot, needs the help of other parts of the body in order to properly function, each member of the body of Christ has a vital need for other Spirit-indwelt members.
Former Seventh-day Adventists face many theological and spiritual issues that they will need to work through, sometimes for many years. They need the help of other believers to come alongside them and encourage them in their faith. They need to hear sound preaching from the word of Christ weekly so that their hearts may be spiritually fed and nourished. They need older brothers and sisters in the faith that can offer wise counsel to them when difficulties arise along the journey of leaving Adventism and integrating into the body of Christ.
Fellowship needed
Finally, and on a personal note, I strongly encourage former Adventists to find ways of fellowshipping together. Sadly, this can sometimes be a great challenge due to various circumstances, not the least of which is geography! I believe, however, that this is a very important help for formers facing common challenges in transitioning out of Adventism. A valid analogy, perhaps, could be taken from Paul’s call in Titus 2 for older women to encourage and teach younger women (and thus also with older men and younger men). Other former Seventh-day Adventists may have already been on the road you are now walking on. Seek out their counsel and advice.
There is a truly a special bond that one encounters among former Adventists who now gather together to fellowship in the joy of the gospel and seek to spread it in their own communities. Speaking personally, I have been deeply moved by the sweet fellowship I have encountered at the yearly Former Adventist Fellowship conferences in Southern California. We do not gather, as some claim, simply to gripe about Adventism or to nurse old grudges. We yearn to rejoice in one another and strengthen our common faith in Jesus. We wish to comfort each other as we mourn the fact that so many of our dear family members remain “behind enemy lines” as it were. We seek out biblical wisdom and teaching to be equipped to share the gospel in a selfless, Christlike manner, speaking the truth in love. If you are a former Seventh-day Adventist, let me strongly encourage you to attend the upcoming 2020 conference (Feb 14–16).
Though we are part of God’s universal church, we are often separated from one another in this earthly life. Nevertheless, since we have turned away from idolatry to serve the living God, we are instructed, as 1 Thessalonians 1 states, to joyfully and expectantly wait for His Son from heaven, whom God raised from the dead. Then we will be forever together, never to be separated again. In the meantime, let us pray with Paul that “somehow by God’s will” we may have opportunity to come together. Let us make use of our spiritual gifts to strengthen one another, “that we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith” (Rom 1:11–12). †
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