When we left Monterey Bay Academy we rented a nice home, but it was still a rental. We had wanted to purchase a home when we were in the Southern California Conference area, but we were told we could not do that. Interns, we were told, must only rent so they would be ready to move at the spur of the moment. We found this to be true that Christmas eve when trucks arrived unannounced at our door and moved us into a house that had no electricity. It was while living in that house that we wanted so badly to purchase our own home, but we were not given this privilege.
At MBA some of the faculty had purchased property next to the school for their own homes, and we wanted to do this also, but again we were told we should not make a home purchase. Home appreciation was rising rapidly during this time, and we could see it becoming more difficult for us to own our own home. Owning one’s home seemed to us the only likely way to get ahead financially.
Our son Bruce had been in the construction class room/work program at MBA and had helped to build some of the new homes on the campus. He was now taking classes to get his contractor’s license, and was working in our area in various construction jobs.
We had a strong desire to be on our own property. We were tired of renting and having unreasonable property owners. We discussed the idea of Bruce building a home for us, as it appeared we could build for less than we could purchase a resale home.
We chose as our first project to read everything we could from Ellen White on the kind of home she recommended. We found many good things. We wanted a home that was bright and cheerful; a home that said, “Welcome, come and rest here;” a home that was above any dampness, one that was warm, comfortable, and convenient for the homemaker. This home should be a safe place for the children, one making it easy to entertain guests, one where there was room to grow one’s own food and on and on. We had a huge list of needs and desires. We started looking for the right property. Of course, we would have to borrow money for even the down payment, but we felt it was time to make a purchase.
We took our list and started praying that God would help us find the right piece of land-one that we could afford and would meet the needs on our list. We visited with several real estate agents, but none showed us anything that would work. Then we found an agent who went out of her way to help us by not only finding the right property, but also ask ing the seller to subordinate on the property until we could get our building loan. We then would repay him.
We found two friends who loaned us the down payment. We would pay them off with funds from the final loan. A very friendly banker gave us the build ing loan knowing we had borrowed the down payment.
As soon as we closed escrow on the property, Dale and I went out to it, prayed over it, and dedicated those five acres to God and to His work. Little did we realize how this would be fulfilled.
This was a beautiful five-acre piece of land about five miles from downtown Watsonville and the church. It was on a knoll where the house would be, and then it sloped down where we would plant an orchard, eucalyptus trees for firewood, and a Christmas tree farm. The knoll had room for our house, a large yard, a large garden area, and a garage for a tractor and garden equipment. We were so excited!
We designed the floor plan to meet our needs and Dale drew the plans. We had a large, open living and dining room, and a large kitchen and family room- perfect for entertaining guests. On the out side of the house a redwood deck stretched along the south and east sides. One day we had a wedding with over 75 people present, and there was plenty of room for people to roam.
Dale and I took our vacation time to help begin the project. Bruce was still living at home and Mike was now a senior at MBA and living in the dorm. We asked permission for him to have his car at school so he could come home after classes to work with Bruce. Together we all dug the foundation trench. I thought of the many times as a child that I had “built” houses or other buildings. Dale and I met when my sisters and I were playing “church” we had built with blocks. Then I built that adobe house that was washed away with the first fall rain. One day Dad brought home a load of lumber to be cut up and used for the kitchen wood cook stove, but before he got it cut up my sisters and I had nailed up those boards to the sides of an old shed and built ourselves a playhouse. It was wonderful, and we had so much fun playing “house” in it. Another time I found many little boards that were only one-quarter inch square and about 10 inches long. I bought some very tiny nails and a small hammer and built a little mini house. I ran out of wood though, before I got the roof completed. It was cute and kept me occupied during the summer hours, but I never felt quite satisfied because I was unable to finish this house. The joy in each of these projects was just in doing them.
Now we were building a real house. This was the most fun . Dale and I prayed often that this house would be a witness for God, and that we would use it for His service. The home was completed and ready to move into just before Christmas of 1980.
During this time we were also learning many things about Adventism that were distressing us. Dale finally convinced me that I needed to listen to and read the documents he had been studying. I reluctantly agreed. This information confirmed that the investigative judgment doctrine was not a Biblical doctrine and it filled me with many emotions. I had come to this conclusion somewhat on my own, but when Dr. Desmond Ford presented his mountain of additional evidence, it was rather devastating. How was it that we had been taught this if it were not true? This was the foundation of Adventism. Without it what would become of all the other doctrines?
I remembered all the Bible classes I had had even in elementary school with the story of Hiram Edson in the cornfield and of the visions of Ellen White. There were all the texts we had to memorize in Bible doctrines class used to support this doctrine. There was the plethora of statements by Ellen White supporting this doctrine. Yet, I was now seeing things that contradicted my beliefs. How could this happen? My parents, my paternal and maternal grandparents believed this. My great grandfather and great, great grandfather all believed in Adventism. Was I being confused by this apparent evidence? Was I being blinded by Satan as Ellen White said would happen to those who began to doubt the Testimonies? I had to admit that if this doctrine, so strongly supported by Ellen White, was not true, how could I believe other things she wrote? There were so many books. Could they all contain error?
Then I remembered the strong teaching and ex ample of my parents in being very honest. There was the time when I was in the sixth grade that my mother and I were babysitting for a couple who was having their car worked on by my dad in his shop. My mother told me, I thought, that I should ask for
$10.00 as a fee when they came to get the baby, as she had to run a quick errand. The mother did come for her baby while my mother was still away. I told her my mother wanted $10.00 for keeping her baby. She looked surprised and shocked at this fee, but I was following the instruction of my mother, I thought. When my mother returned home, I gave her the $10.00.
“What is this for?” she asked.
“For taking care of the baby,” I answered.
I could see her countenance change from one of surprise, to disbelief and disappointment in me.
“I told you not to ask for any money. Why did you do this?” she asked in a stern voice.
“Because I thought that is what you told me to do.” I answered.
Somehow, the communication between my mother and me became garbled, and I had made a grave mistake. Mother said we must get in the car immediately and go to the home of these people to return the money, which we did.
There were other times when I had been given too much change for making a purchase. Mother and I walked back into the store and returned the nickel or dime, however small it might be. As I grew older I always returned any extra change I was given while shopping.
There were times when I had told lies and had to correct them, asking for forgiveness even when it was painful to do so. I knew that I had to be totally honest with the information no matter what the consequences might be.
Dale was telling me that the tapes he had been listening to by Walter Rae were giving supporting evidence that Ellen White had plagiarized much of her writings. I had heard comments like this before but dismissed them as not coming from reliable sources. This information, however, was coming from a respected Southern California Conference pastor of a large church, and was being told to me by my husband, whom I trusted. I do not recall ever personally meeting Walter Rae, but Dale knew him well and respected him and had visited in his home looking at some of the evidence of plagiarism.
I recalled the recent study I had done on the judgment and that satisfied me at that time. I never listened to Rae’s tapes. I had read enough from other sources to be convinced that Ellen White had copied many of the statements she claimed were from the angel of God. I was busy continuing my Bible studies with people and with the responsibilities of cooking, shopping, laundry, cleaning and gardening; I felt I did not have time for any more assignments. I would just ponder all this information for a while.
Everyday when I came home from giving Bible studies Dale had some bit of new information to share with me, now that I was open to looking at it. The evidence was becoming overwhelming. Many church leaders in the past had known that the investigative judgment was wrong. Many also did not believe Ellen White was a true prophet. So much information was coming to Dale that he felt he needed to begin sharing this with his church elders. As he did, they were coming to the same conclusions as Dale. Word of this began to leak out, even reaching the ears of the conference officials.
One day we received a call from the president of the conference, Elder Charles Cook, asking us to come in for a visit. When we visited with Elder Cook, he asked us how things were going with the church and with the Bible studies I was giving. We reported that everything seemed to be going well. We were having baptisms and the church was growing.
We remarked to each other on the way home that the visit seemed rather trite. We had expected an inquisition. This would come later-we were to learn.
We had just built a solid house, but the white walls of Adventism seemed to be falling brick by brick around us.
My Cup Overflows. Copyright © 2009 by Carolyn Ratzlaff. All Scripture quotations—except where otherwise noted—are from The New American Standard Bible, © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1975, 1979, 1994 by the Lockman Foundation, used by permission. All rights reserved. Life Assurance Ministries, Inc.
Carolyn has always been a positive person enjoying life and outdoor activities such as hiking and gardening, and she and her husband currently raise a good portion of their own food in small grow boxes. She also reads many health journals and is often surprised at the contrast between what was taught through the writings of Ellen White on forbidden items of diet and health, and the beneficial evidence of these same items which is supported by a plethora of scientific studies.
She and her husband Dale Ratzlaff have two married sons and four grandchildren.
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