The COVID-19 pandemic has catalyzed many old insecurities as our normal ways of life have been altered day by day over the past two weeks. The dizzying changes required of us as citizens and the unfolding facts about this strange new virus have shattered our daily structures that gave us stability. In fact, enforced isolation provides time for fears to percolate: will my income remain secure? Will my loved ones sicken and die? Will our economy collapse? Will we all get sick if we return to work? How can we stay connected with our church family? Who is telling us the truth?
These existential questions lead quickly to old insecurities that I thought were buried in the past. They burble up with the fears that blur my grasp of reality, and I can’t always tell if I am evaluating things accurately or on the basis of those insecurities.
It’s easy for me to believe I should become invisible, allowing others to worry about life while I relieve them of worrying about me. “Being a burden” to others is anathema to me—and yet, this reaction doesn’t feel fully honest, either.
Discovering reality
Since trusting Jesus and leaving Adventism, I have become increasingly aware that I cannot trust my own thoughts to accurately assess reality in every situation. As objective as I try to be, I am still seeing from inside my perceptions. In fact, the ways I was taught as a child have shaped my responses to and evaluations of life, and what may seem clear to me may be seem different to someone standing next to me.
And let’s face it: our early Adventism built a grid through which we filter much of life. That interpretive grid is part of what the Lord rebuilds as we learn a biblical worldview, but it still influences us almost unconsciously, especially when we are stressed.
I am convinced that when we meet Jesus and learn the truth about Him and about the gospel and our own salvation, He doesn’t leave us as He found us. Once He reveals Himself to us, He patiently but persistently shows us the truth about our own lives.
It’s not always easy to acknowledge the truth about our lives; things we ignored or excused in our own behavior and in the dynamics of our families may actually NOT be “normal”. We may have had hurtful parents, abusive siblings, or even predatory Adventist authority figures. (Many who have spent years in Adventist boarding schools may find this statement to be all too true.)
In fact, if we grew up inside Adventism, we can know that we were taught deceptions as truth. At the very least, we experienced spiritual abuse as a result of doctrines based on a false prophet’s writings which twisted Scriptures and left us despairing of ever pleasing God. We had no idea what Jesus actually did for us.
How, then, are we ever to understand the truth about the frightening confusion which often swirls around us, both inside our heads and outside in the world?
In the early years after leaving Adventism, I realized that I had been thoroughly deceived once by a false religion—a religion which I deeply believed was right. If I had been so steeped in deception, I knew I was vulnerable to being deceived again—not by Adventism, perhaps, but I was vulnerable to other deceptions that swirl in the church and in society.
I began to pray a prayer that I still pray: “Lord, please plant me deeply in truth and reality and protect me from deception.” Only the Lord, I realized, can guard my thoughts and my heart.
“Truth is not in your head”
It was fourteen years ago that I went with a young woman to see her Christian counselor. He looked at her and asked, “How is your Scripture memorizing going?”
Startled, I looked at the man as the girl shrugged slightly.
He continued, “Truth is not in your head; it is in God’s word. If you are not willing to put truth into your head, you are not ready to get well.”
I don’t remember anything else about that session, but that counselor’s words changed my life. I went home, and the next day I began memorizing Scripture. The Lord convicted me through that man’s words to do something I had been resisting. I didn’t want to memorize; it was work, and I wasn’t sure I could memorize anymore after so many years out of school!
Nevertheless, as the years have passed and I have continued memorizing God’s word, one verse at a time, in context, I have begun to understand why Hebrews 4: 12–13 says,
For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do.
How, then, does putting God’s word in my head help me sort out my own conflicting thoughts and feelings? How can I know if I am reacting to what is real or if I’m reacting to something I fear—or to something that I learned in the past? How can I know who is telling me the truth?
What I know
I cannot always know who is telling the truth; for example, in this pandemic, I cannot always know which information is truthful and which is skewed. Nevertheless, I can know the bigger picture of reality—and that understanding gives me perspective for the immediate concerns.
Scripture has taught me that, although my feelings are data about what is happening around me, they are not all of reality. Through God’s word I know my true “place”, regardless of what others think of me or if they misunderstand me. I know that, because I am born again, I am God’s daughter. No external conditions change that.
I know that I can turn to my Father when I feel frightened or cornered or marginalized and ask Him to be my protector. I ask Him to take care of me and to show me what to do when I am completely out of insight. I ask Him to keep me faithful in the situations I cannot navigate.
When I feel confused, I ask Him to plant me in reality and to help me know what is true. I ask Him to show me how to trust Him. I ask Him to show me how to be humble before Him and not to react with self-protective attacks.
Ultimately, I ask Him to protect me and my loved ones and to give us wisdom when navigating unknown territory such as social distancing and self-quarantining. I have to trust 1 Corinthians 1:30 where Paul says,
But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption.
Isn’t that amazing? Jesus Himself has “become to us wisdom from God”. Because we are IN HIM, we have access to the surpassing wisdom of God. In fact, 1 Corinthians 2:16 says that we actually “have the mind of Christ” when we are in Him!
Furthermore, the armor of God, which we can know protects us when we know Jesus (Ephesians 6:10–17), includes the belt of truth, the breastplate of of righteousness, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, the shoes or the preparedness of the gospel of peace, and the sword of the Spirit.
Think about it: the first piece of armor is the belt of truth which is the ultimate reality that God knows and sees. Even if we can’t see exactly what is going on around us although we feel the distress and the fear that events are generating, God’s own ultimate truth is holding us together: Jesus has secured our eternal future through His shed blood and resurrection.
At the same time, our hearts are covered by Christ’s own righteousness. When our feelings run out of control, when we feel anger or fear or depression, Christ’s perfect righteousness still identifies us, and we are safe with our Father.
Our faith further guards our hearts by extinguishing the flaming darts of the enemy! No matter what Satan throws our way, no matter what our sinful flesh entices us to do to alleviate our stress, our faith in the finished work of the Lord Jesus guards us from the deceptions of the enemy. Even if we feel confused and afraid or tempted to take matters into our own hands in self-defense, knowing that God’s promises cannot fail keeps us from being lured away by the indulgent deceptions that we face.
I especially love that our salvation is our helmet. Helmets protect our heads, and my head is the thing that most leads me into the deep weeds of speculation and catastrophizing. The fact that I am saved, that I am born again and given a new heart and a new spirit, that I am sealed with the Holy Spirit—this reality of my salvation is what protects me from my own doubts and fears and crazy decisions.
Because I am saved, Christ has become for me God’s own wisdom. I have Him to keep me on track when I trust Him instead of believing my own fears.
I also have the shoes of the “preparation of the gospel of peace”. Because I know the gospel and have been born again because of its truth about the Lord Jesus’ finished work, I can walk into any fearful, threatening, or unknown situation with my steps made sure by the truth which has transformed me. Jesus is my defense and protector, and the gospel makes it possible for me to navigate life’s most frightening situations because I am not on my own in the world. I am indwelt by our Lord Himself!
Finally, as I live and move in a world which is reeling out of control around me, in which I stumble into uncharted waters and frightening situations wearing defensive armor, I do have one offensive weapon: the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God! God’s word defeats deception. It defeats confusion and fear. It tells me who God is and who I am in Him.
God’s word tells me that in the world I will have trouble. It tells me that the Lord disciplines His true sons and daughters, and my struggles are not intended to destroy me. God’s word tells me that God is not surprised by anything that surprises me, and it tells me that He is working these things in my life for my own good.
Furthermore, God’s word tells me I have to act on the basis of His word. Because I know His word cannot fail and He keeps His promises, I have to do what He tells me to do in His word even when it seems impossible. I have to pray for the leaders of my country and honor their demands where they do not oppose God’s word. I have to trust God and believe that He has all my days written in His book.
I have to know that I am His true daughter, and I can ask Him to teach me and protect me, and I have to trust Him to provide what I need.
I thank Him for who He is and for being sovereign over our fears and surprises. He thank Him for what He is doing that I cannot see, and I ask Him for the things I need—knowing that He will not withhold any good thing from me. I can know that He will keep me grounded in Him and hold me in His reality, keeping my heart at peace because of His faithfulness.
We who know Jesus can trust Him. We can live through this pandemic without being unhinged by fear because in Him we know Christ who has become for us wisdom from God, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption.
Who is telling the truth?
Our Father is telling us truth, and He will hold us in reality. †
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