I Stand Alone On the Word of God

ESTHER SHU | Faith Story

My mother and my father came from large families of thirteen and eleven children, respectively. My mother completed third grade, and my father completed seventh. Living in Mexico and in poverty made it difficult to complete an education. Eventually, my parents settled down in Bakersfield, CA. My mother cleaned homes, and my father was a custodian for a local grocery store. Even though our family had limited means, my parents always made sure that we received what we needed even though it may not have been what we wanted.

Unfortunately, there was no religious center to our family. Everyone believed something different. My mother was a Catholic by name only. My father was raised in the Apostolic Church but never claimed it as his own faith or belief system.

One summer, a friend invited my older siblings to the Spanish Seventh-day Adventist Vacation Bible School (VBS). Members of the congregation befriended my mother, and church soon became the center of our lives. In fact, our circle of friends soon became primarily church members. Many of these people are still my closest friends even though I no longer fellowship at the church. 

Every Sabbath my mother packed us into the car, and we went to church. My father continued to work six days a week from Monday to Saturday. He didn’t have a problem with us going to church on Saturday as long as my mother didn’t push him to go to church. He joined us only on special occasions such as at Christmas programs.

When I was eleven, I made a genuine commitment to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior and was baptized into the SDA church. My pastor then obtained financial scholarships for my siblings and me to attend the local Adventist Academy. My mother was thrilled. After all, she wanted us to have the American Dream—a strong moral foundation, a good education, and the ability for us to rise above our station in life. Suddenly, all of this was about to come true. The hard work of my parents seemed to have borne fruit.

Fortunately or unfortunately, my parents did not know about many of the Adventist traditions or teachings. This ignorance left my religious education to the Church and Academy.

During my high school years, I remember trying to find Ellen G. White’s teachings in the Bible. But I could never find them!

I thought that I was growing in my faith during religion classes at school, but I now realize that my understanding of the gospel and the Christian walk was limited. During my high school years, I remember trying to find Ellen G. White’s teachings in the Bible. But I could never find them! I had assumed that the sermons that I had been listening to had been based on Scripture when in fact the vast majority were Ellen G. White’s non-biblical teaching. We were spoon fed information and never taught how to study the Bible properly. I had no idea what a concordance, Bible dictionary or a Greek lexicon was. Being a Berean (Acts 17:11) never even crossed my mind.

Was there someone that I should have blamed for my naïveté? My mother? My pastor? My teachers at the Academy? Who? Ultimately, it was my fault. I had the Scriptures in front of me but never took the time and energy to study them. I guess I was content with being a spiritual baby and being spoon-fed information. It is only now that I am realizing the depth and breadth of Scripture and the various aspects of spiritual maturity. As I look back on those years, I wish that I had had a mentor to disciple me, challenge my faith and encourage me to grow. 

After graduating from high school, I left for Pacific Union College (PUC). Coming from a graduating class of twelve students, PUC was intimidating. My spiritual life consisted of reading the Psalms on a daily basis and studying for my religion classes. Going through the motions would be a good description of my spiritual walk. Not once did I hear of a Bible study. I am sure that they existed, but I didn’t think that they were a high priority. After two years, I went to study dental hygiene at Loma Linda University. During my senior year, I was elected class pastor. I had the proper outward appearance of a good Adventist. Inwardly, I was hollow.

Soon after I became class pastor, I was invited to an off-campus interdenominational Bible study. It was the beginning of the end for my old self. I was no longer being spoon-fed information as an infant but had moved from milk to the solid food of sound Biblical teaching. 

Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. Hebrews 5:13-14

Many people in the Bible Study showed a love for Christ and His word that I had never seen. They were actually having fun studying Scripture and digging deeper into the Word. In this group, I met two people who would challenge my faith and pray with me—my future husband Stanford and my friend Laura.

Up until that time, I had been praying for a godly husband, not for an Adventist husband. I had assumed that all godly men were Adventist. God did bring a godly man into my life, but unfortunately, Stanford was not Adventist—even though he knew more about my belief system than I did. Stanford appeared to be the man that God had prepared for me; in the back of my mind, however, I could not let go of my anxiety over the fact that he wasn’t Adventist.

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?
2 Corinthians 6:14-15

These words had been drilled into my mind. Unfortunately, I had been taught an erroneous interpretation of the passage. I thought that the passage meant that one should not marry a non-Seventh-day Adventist. The passage actually means that a believer should not marry a nonbeliever. I had to learn how to study the Bible accurately before I could apply Scripture to my life.

While Stanford and I dated, we went to church on Sabbath—to please me, of course! He didn’t mind which day he worshiped because of the principles from Romans 14:5. After church he would take out his Bible and ask me questions about the sermon to see if what was taught was true and had a Biblical basis. I was ill prepared to answer his questions (1 Peter 3:15). 

After we had dated a year and a half, an Adventist pastor in an Adventist Church married us. How odd was that? I remember that in my home church in Bakersfield, the non-Adventist betrothed was quickly baptized into the church before a marriage to make everything seem proper.

After we were married, I continued to grow in my faith and learned about many of the basic foundations of the Christian walk, but I was still ashamed to be seen in a Sunday church. Two years later, my friend Laura and I began to study Galatians and Sabbath in Crisis (the first edition of Sabbath in Christ) by Dale Ratzlaff in order to understand the Old and New Covenants. I had previously learned about the differences, but they didn’t become real and palpable until I began to study the subject in depth for myself. I needed to study my way out of the church, not just leave. Understanding Scripture was the only way to bring closure to my religious past and to open up the future.

After I left the SDA church, my mother was initially disappointed and sad that I had “left the things of God” even though her love never wavered. Since then, my mother has seen the fruits of my spiritual walk and has come to appreciate that I have become closer and more intimate with God.

After much studying and prayer, I left the Adventist church. No one forced me out of the church, but neither did anyone force me to come back. I left a denomination and not Christ. I am a daughter of the King of the Universe. My identity is in Christ.

Those who know Your name trust in You because You have not abandoned those who seek You, Lord. Psalms 9:10

The gospel is now clear. The cross is meaningful. The Law has a new meaning that I never understood before. I now live to please God and keep the laws as a natural outflowing of the Holy Spirit that dwells in me and not because I am trying to deserve salvation. I am constantly reminded that our lives are not our own and that salvation came at a very high cost—the death of Christ.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!” Galatians 2:20-21

After I left the SDA church, my mother was initially disappointed and sad that I had “left the things of God” even though her love never wavered. Since then, my mother has seen the fruits of my spiritual walk and has come to appreciate that I have become closer and more intimate with God. I don’t know how my sister and brothers feel because even though I try to develop spiritual depth in our conversations, they always keep our talks at a surface level. I am grateful that my childhood friends from the Adventist church continue to be my friends. My father went home to be with the Lord in March, 2004. Fortunately, he had accepted Christ four years ago, and I know that I will see him in the future.

I praise God for His patient leading and for bringing me into the freedom of the gospel! I now stand alone on the Word of God. †

Republished from the printed version of Proclamation!, November–December, 2006.

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Esther Shu earned her Bachelor of Science in Dental Hygiene at Loma Linda University School of Dentistry. She was in private practice for five years and is now a full-time mother of three children. Esther and her husband, a physician, are involved in health care evangelism through the Medical Strategic Network, and she also participates in Women’s Ministries at Trinity Evangelical Free Church in Redlands, CA. [2006]