Childhood Friend About To Marry an Adventist
My daughter has a good friend who grew up with her in church and even shared an apartment with her after college. They have both been in a Bible-believing church since before they were born. A few years ago, the friend started casually seeing an Adventist man. The friend eventually moved to another state, away from family, but also away from her Adventist boyfriend.
The parents of this girl were hoping the move would cause a break in their relationship, but a year later she decided to move back to the city where the boyfriend lives. People have been trying to speak truth to her—even a family in our church who have Adventist family—and this girl has seen the pain this family goes through anytime they are around the family members. but she’s so in love, she doesn’t want to hear or see the truth.
Our daughter still talks to this girl regularly and has shared with us that they are moving toward marriage. Is there anything we can do (besides praying God would open her eyes, which we are doing) that would maybe get her attention? Any help you can provide would be appreciated!
—VIA EMAIL
Response: Thank you for writing! What a difficult, painful situation. I do not know a “magic bullet” you can use to get this girl’s attention. Prayer is the most powerful weapon we have.
That being said, you might send her a link to Former Adventist Podcast. She can listen in private if she wishes, and if she doesn’t at this time, she will at least know where it is. I think it might be helpful if she would listen.
You can send her a link at Apple Podcasts here:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/former-adventist/id1482887969
I pray that she will be willing to know and see what is true and that the Lord will protect her from becoming bound to a suffocating deception.
Help! My Husband Is an Adventist!
Hi, Colleen and Nikki. Thank you for your good work on YouTube for former Adventists. I listen to you often now because I am not Adventist, but my husband is. I am a Christian, and I know now after accompanying him so often to his church that their foundation is wrong. I thank God I know my Bible enough to say that.
You know, I was just curious when I met him about what truth they hold as the “remnant church”. God is faithful; he used this encounter with Adventism to return me to my love for Him and to my Christian church family and to the gospel even more.
This is a second marriage for us both. I had so much trouble making a decision to get married to him because we are unequally yoked. The Holy Spirit led me out of that relationship several time, and each time I knew I made the “wrong choice” by going back, but my hubby is just a loving and sincere person, so we decided to get married in a civil ceremony. There was no way I would marry in an Adventist church. We both have children.
I listen to you regularly in order to be able to tell him to get out of the Adventist church. Although I’ve told him the truth, he said I am wrong. I can understand his reaction because he is second or third-generation Adventist. I invite him regularly to my church; he comes rarely when there is an event or conference, but I know he sees us as Babylon.
As for me, I told him truly that I would not attend any church meeting at the Adventist Church EVER (except for weddings or burials) as I know they are wrong. I cannot pretend I agree with all they say, so I’m asking you to help me please if you have some tips on how can I help him. I pray for him and his family to see the truth.
I’m grateful for your podcasts; I can’t wait to hear back from you. Thank you!
—VIA EMAIL
Response: Thank you for writing. I am thankful that the podcast is helpful to you!
You really are in a difficult situation, and I’m so sorry. We really don’t have a method for breaking the Adventist “shell” around an Adventist’s heart. Only God’s word and His Spirit can do that.
As a general principle, though, I would say that your consistent commitment to the Lord Jesus is the most important thing you can do. I understand that you feel conflicted because you married an Adventist while having doubts that you should, yet the Lord can lead and bless you even in this circumstance.
First, read 1 Corinthians 7. In this chapter Paul discusses, among other things related to marriage, how a believer is to live with an unbelieving spouse. It is hard, but the Lord can show you how to love and respect your unbelieving husband. If your husband wishes to stay in the relationship, the Lord will show you how to be faithful to Him and to love your husband for Him.
Second, would he be willing to read the Bible with you regularly? If he would, I suggest that you make regular appointments with him to read from the New Testament on a consistent basis. Perhaps he would agree to sit with you and read one chapter at a time, perhaps once or twice a week (if not daily). You could begin with Galatians. Read the whole book, in context, one chapter at a time. Talk about what you are reading as you progress through the chapters, and agree not to use outside commentaries (so he will not bring in Adventist material like EGW to help him understand). Just read the words as they are written, using the normal rules of context, grammar, and vocabulary. The words mean what the words say!
It’s important to remember not to argue with him about Adventism. Ask the Lord to show you how to entrust your husband to Him and to show you how to allow Him to be your husband’s Holy Spirit, not you. At the same time, living your life for the Lord Jesus in spite of the Adventism in the house is important. I believe it’s counter-productive to attend the Adventist church with him. Adventism is a false gospel, and when we know and love the Lord, we can’t compromise our integrity and attend a worship service honoring a false gospel.
Yet Paul’s words in Ephesians 5:22 to the end about wives and husbands are still our pattern for how to treat our husbands, even if they are not believers. Of course, we can’t submit to do things that dishonor the Lord Jesus if our husbands want us to, but we still do love and respect them.
I am so sorry for what you are experiencing, but your listening to the podcast and reading God’s word will help you talk to him. Ask the Lord to show you how to love your husband for God and remember that the Lord knows how to help your husband to know what he needs to know as you grow in your own faith and trust. And of course, pray that the Lord will soften your husband’s heart and give him a desire to know Him. †
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