You Must Count the Cost

GREG TAYLOR | Former Adventist Pastor

There is a tendency in faith communities to share the joys of the Christian life in such a way that it appears to be a life of uninterrupted bliss. Just give your life to Jesus, ask Him into your heart, and you will live happily ever after. All your dreams will come true. You will get all you have ever dreamed of.  But such a picture is not entirely accurate. In reality, it is false advertising. It creates unrealistic expectations which can lead to disillusionment and frustration. The truth of the matter is, the Christian life does offer joy, abundant life, personal fulfillment, but it comes at a cost. The price tag is the Cross! The fulfillment and joy are the internal results of a life that is lost in the pursuit of God. Jesus challenged the disciples to count the cost. His path is not one that will grant us all the prominence, success, money, and possessions we desire in our selfish fantasies. Instead it is one that will cost us everything. It calls for death of our personal ambitions for the sake of Christ. Note Jesus’ own words to His followers. 

Then He said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?” Luke 9:23-25 NIV 

The cross did not bring up warm little thoughts of comfort to the people of that time. The cross was an instrument of torture and death. But Jesus calls it the way of salvation! The cross is not an easy road by any means. It may mean the loss of everything we hold dear in this life, but it is the way that brings us to the joy of knowing Jesus to such an extent that all other desires pale into insignificance. Christianity is not a means by which we gain the whole world; it is a means by which we gain what really matters; a relationship with the Lord himself that can never be taken away. It is a path that brings true life and satisfies the deeper longings of our hearts. 

The path to God’s ultimate promises is often one that takes us through the wilderness of the cross.

The path to God’s ultimate promises is often one that takes us through the wilderness of the cross. Israel left Egypt only to come to an apparent dead end at the Red Sea. The crisis provided the means by which the hand of God could be more clearly revealed.  The wilderness wanderings of Israel could have been shortened by their own choices, but they were led by God to at least a year and a half of desert training before the promised land. There was a wilderness training program intended to increase their faith that was part of the promotion. Between Egypt and Canaan was a wilderness of testing and preparation. This is true for all of God’s faithful. There is a cross before the crown. 

 Notice a few examples of this wilderness promotion motif. David was anointed king and then spent seven plus years of his life running from a crazy despotic king. Ultimately he became king, but he went through a time of testing that was to bring out the best in his heart. It was to make him a man of faith, trust, compassion and grace. Joseph was 13 years on a rollercoaster that included slavery, dungeons, rejection and apparent total failure before the promise came true for his life. Yet those experiences made him a capable and tested leader. Moses was 40 years in the desert before the call of his childhood was realized. Paul was in the desert for many years, at least three and possibly as many as 14, before he was released in ministry. Paul, the once “Harvard graduate favorite of Judaism” (taught at the feet of Gamaliel) became a “nobody”—a desert hermit before his calling was released. And Jesus Christ himself spent 18 years as a carpenter in Nazareth after He realized His mission calling at His Bar Mitzvah. 

God’s ways include wilderness training. His ways include downsizing and death of our dreams for the sake of His higher dreams and calling for us. Graham Cooke discusses the wilderness training this way:

“Every one of us will outgrow our environment on several occasions before we finally meet the Lord. Our choice is to complain, be fearful, and cling to what we have; or move forward knowing that the Lord is leading us and guiding us into a new dimension” (A Divine Confrontation, page 252).

My wife Paula and I have become deeply aware of this phenomenon in our own lives. We have been Christians for many years now. But there came a testing point in our experience where we found ourselves challenged with the greater implications of the Gospel. Through Bible study, prayer, and deepening conviction we came to a point of testing. We came to understand the New Covenant like we had never understood it before. It cut across all that we had been taught in our religious training. We began to walk in the way of the Spirit instead of the written code (2 Cor 3). We came under conviction that we could no longer teach that Sabbath laws and food laws, etc. were binding on Christians.  We realized that we could no longer teach these things in good conscience. We came face to face with the implications of the truth God was revealing to us. We were going to have to leave a career of nearly 20 years in the SDA ministry. This was a brutally painful decision. It was agonizing. Words cannot express how difficult it was to leave the church we loved and experience the pain of rejection and loss of friendships and family.

God has been very good to us. But it is important to share the whole story for the sake of those who are considering following Jesus with their lives. This has not been an easy path. We lost most of our friendships we had in Adventism—some we still see now and then, a few are just as close as ever, but very few. By far the majority of our past relationships are gone. People have a lot of fear when it comes to associating with those that once were part of the SDA system once they leave. We have sensed this to the core. It has not been easy. 

We were without work for many months after leaving the SDA system. Most churches are wary of the SDA system and for good reason. They have heard of the SDA teachings that make other churches equivalent with Babylon and apostate religion. Most Christians are welcoming of those leaving the SDA system and rejoice with them on their discovery of the truth of the New Covenant. At the same time they are reluctant to hire one of them to be a senior pastor in their church. 

After a long season of waiting, we did get hired by a recent church plant to be the pastor for small groups and spiritual formation. The intention of the planting pastor was to go plant another church. He was looking for someone that could do some of the infrastructure work on the church and then take over leadership when he left to plant the next church. To make a long story short, he decided to stay. Since I am not an administrator in my primary gifting, it placed me in a church where there were two senior pastors and not enough administrators. The situation was awkward and painful. When our three year contract ended, so did our ministry in that community. While we made many lifelong friends in that church, we again found ourselves in a time of limbo. 

The enemy has attacked us from the beginning with his harassing lies. We were told early on by people in the SDA system that we would never amount to anything outside of the SDA church.  The enemy would remind us of these statements often in our times of rejection or frustration. “You were a fool to leave your old church ministry! You should have just kept your thoughts to yourself! You will never be the pastor you feel called to be! You just threw away a career for the sake of some silly thing called integrity! Is the New Covenant really all that important? You should never have rocked the boat and put your family through all of this.” 

The truth is, the journey has not been easy. We have suffered rejection, misunderstanding, lies about our character, times of financial insecurity, and times of discouragement. We have had to struggle with our identity. We cannot find our sense of value in our career,  in personal ministry accomplishments, or being part of an exclusive community. In Adventism we knew someone almost every place we went—or at least someone who knew someone. There is a certain sense of “belonging” that is part of sectarian systems. Now that is all gone. 

The reality is we would not trade our current life in Christ for all the comforts of the “safe life” no matter how attractive that might seem at times.

Yet, the other side of the story is also true. We have grown in faith in ways we could never have grown in the comforts of the “secure life”. We have come to understand in a small way the sufferings of Christ who “Made Himself of no reputation” (Phil 2) and experienced rejection at the hands of those He loved so much. Our appreciation of the sacrifice of Christ has grown profoundly. We have learned so much about the life in the Spirit. We have learned to listen for the Still Small Voice in every experience. We have examined our hearts and come to grips with our own deep need for Christ for everything in life. We are living—however feebly at times—a walk of faith. We are learning how to put on the armor of God to defeat the fiery darts of the enemy.  Our prayer life has deepened dramatically. We have come to hang onto the promises of God as never before. We have found, experientially, our primary identity in Christ, not in what we do or in our ministry successes. Our compassion for people, even those who hurt us, continues to grow. We find love swelling up in us for our enemies. We have joy in our hearts that circumstances cannot take away. And we are constantly involved in ministry to hurting people, those wounded in life, those in impoverished areas of the world, those struggling with leaving sectarian systems, and those dealing with addictions. Our ministry in Jesus’ name continues to grow. And in the midst of it all, we have never missed a house payment or gotten behind on our bills. God has always and faithfully made a way. Praise His name!

The reality is we would not trade our current life in Christ for all the comforts of the “safe life” no matter how attractive that might seem at times. We have found that true success is not in large bank accounts, great reputations, large ministries, or prominence of any kind. Success is following Jesus fully and faithfully, no matter the cost. Jim Elliot, the Christian missionary/martyr put it this way, “He is not a fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” Paul put it this way: 

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Cor 4:16-5:1 NIV).

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