Prayers I Didn’t Know to Pray

LIVING BY THE SPIRIT WITH CORA HOLDER | Nurse

Raise a shout for God, all the earth; sing the glory of His name, make glorious His praise. Selah. Come and hear, all God-fearing men, as I tell what He did for me, I called aloud to Him, glorification on my tongue. Had I an evil thought in my mind, The LORD would not have listened. But God did listen; He paid heed to my prayer. Blessed is God who has not turned away my prayer, Or His faithful care from me (Psalms 66: 2, 16-20).¹

I loved and was proud of being an Adventist. I was trying to do everything right. I led in Cradle Roll and Kindergarten Sabbath School, was a Pathfinder leader, had special Friday evening suppers by candlelight, and took the kids for special Sabbath afternoon activities, but I had an emptiness that I didn’t know how to fill. I didn’t know how to pray or what to pray for. I had a religion but not a relationship.

Then one day I stood in a new place. People young and old were crowded in the pews singing a song I had never heard in a way I had never experienced—with hands raised and a look of complete joy on their faces. This was my first time at Celebration Center in Colton, California, a non-traditional Adventist church service that was creating tidal waves in the denomination. As I stood there and experienced worship for the first time in my life, I knew I had to have what I observed these people experiencing. “God,” I prayed, “I need this; I want this joy.” Immediately I saw a bright light dropping from the stained-glass dove above me and felt heat pouring through me. I stood there crying.

I have never been the same! I became a Christian that day.

We began to attend regularly. The worship services were wonderful. I sang from my heart. The songs taught me of a loving Jesus who loves me as I am.² The songs became prayers that I didn’t realize I was praying; Open my eyes Lord, I want to see Jesus… open my ears Lord and help me to listen…³

God saved me while I was in the Adventist church, but He heard my prayers. He opened my eyes and ears just as I asked. I told Him that I believed that His word was a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path…⁴ He allowed the veil of Moses to drop from my eyes (2 Corinthians 3:13 – 18). I believed that He came from heaven to earth to show the way, from the earth to the cross, MY DEBT TO PAY⁵— an idea contrary to the last sermon I heard at the Loma Linda University church which stated that Jesus came to preach and teach us how to keep the commandments. Father in heaven how we praise you, we lift your name in all the earth…⁶

God did not leave us at Celebration Center, however, where I would have been content to sing praises. He allowed changes to take place there that I felt did not come from His leading, and they seemed to be a clear sign that I could no longer stay. I went into deep spiritual depression. 

Where was I to worship when I believed only the Adventist church had the “truth”? 

We had friends and family at the Loma Linda University Church, and I was still involved with the Pathfinders there, so we returned. I longed for a Spirit-filled place to worship. 

Several years passed. In January, 1999, our daughter Genelle found a flyer left on her car at Loma Linda Academy. The flyer was an invitation to a presentation at a local church by Mark Martin, a former Seventh-day Adventist pastor. She attended and returned saying, “I never want to be called a Seventh-day Adventist again”. 

I was devastated! Several months later, at the urging of my sister, we watched the video The Spirit Behind the Church that Genelle had brought home in January. I had already accepted the Adventists’ explanation of Ellen White’s plagiarism and claims of being a prophet, though, so I wasn’t impressed by the video. 

My sister, however, said to me in exasperation, “Cora, if she isn’t from God, who is she from?” 

I knew then I had to study to determine if the doctrines and my beliefs were actually the “truth”. That was an extremely hard assignment. I was terrified! I had been taught that to question was wrong, that Satan’s angels would deceive me, and that at the end-time there would be a falling away from the “true church”. I didn’t want to be part of that “falling away.”

I prayed hard during my study. I wanted to make sure that it was the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob—the Father, Jesus Christ, and The Holy Spirit that were with me. 

As I studied, God removed the veil from my eyes, and a whole “new” Bible lay in front of me. I couldn’t believe this was the same book I had been reading all my life. We eventually ventured out and attended Saturday night services at Calvary Chapel; even if the meeting was after sundown, at least the day was right. Finally, in October, we attended our first Sunday service. Not only was there incredible praise and worship, but I was fed spiritually from the Bible. Not only did I not receive the mark of the beast, but I found my true Sabbath. Now Jesus is my rest seven days a week, not just one out of seven. Our God is an Awesome God!⁷

I’ve wondered why traditional Adventists are so opposed to contemporary praise services. Is it because God opens eyes, lights up His word, and fills His people with His Spirit as they sing the prayers they don’t know how to pray? 

“But You are holy, enthroned upon the praises of Israel.” (Psalms 22:4b-b).⁸ Blessed be the Lord God Almighty who was and is and is to come…may your kingdom be established in our praises, as your people declare your mighty works…Blessed be the Lord God Almighty who reigns forever more!⁹

Amen! †

Endnotes

1. The Jewish Bible, Tanakh, The Holy Scriptures, The new JPS translation according to the traditional Hebrew text. The Jewish Publication Society Philadelphia, Jerusalem 1985.
2. “Father I Want You to Hold Me”, Brian Doerksen, c 1991, Mercy/Vineyard Publishing.
3. “Open Our Eyes”, Bob Cull c 1976, Maranatha Music.
4. “Holy and Anointed One”, John Barnett, c 1976 Mercy/Vineyard Publishing & “Thy Word”, Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith c 1984 Word Music, Inc.
5. “Lord I Lift Your Name on High”, Rick Founds c 1989 Maranatha Music administered by The Copyright Co. Nashville, TN.
6. “Blessed Be the Lord God Almighty”, Bob Fitts, c 1985 Scripture in Song Administered by Maranatha Music.
7. “Awesome God”, Rich Mullins c 1988 BMG Songs, Inc.
8. The Jewish Bible, Tanakh, The Holy Scriptures, The new JPS translation according to the traditional Hebrew text. The Jewish Publication Society Philadelphia, Jerusalem 1985.
9. “Blessed Be the Lord God Almighty”, Bob Fitts, c 1985 Scripture in Song Administered by Maranatha Music.

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