I Wasn’t Good Enough To Be Saved

KRISTEN RICHARDS |

My name is Kristen, and this is my story. It is about what our amazing God has done, His goodness, His love, and His absolute faithfulness. 

In 2019 I heard the gospel, and I thought it was too good to be true; it actually took hearing it again and again over nine months before I decided to trust it. 

Here’s the surprising detail: I grew up believing I was Christian. I knew my Bible; I loved God, and I was so serious about trying to follow Him—but I didn’t know the gospel. I worked hard at being good. I was passionate about my religion, but I didn’t really know Jesus. I didn’t trust Him to save me; I was sure I had to help Him with the job. The Jesus I knew about was a Jesus that needed help saving me. 

I grew up believing I was Christian. I knew my Bible; I loved God, and I was so serious about trying to follow Him—but I didn’t know the gospel.

You see, my formula for salvation went a little like this. I have to know the right thing in order to do the right thing in order to hopefully be good enough to be saved. It was a Jesus-plus-my-efforts-at-being-good equals a maybe-I’ll-make-it kind of gospel. I could never be sure because it partly depended on me. 

So, this was my dilemma, and boy, did I try hard! 

As 2019 approached I was sick of all the normal new years’ resolutions and figured I wanted something different, something better. 

“Be on fire”—that sounded good. I decided that my news year’s resolution could be that I would finally get my act together and get more serious about God. I wanted to be on fire for Him. To me this meant I’d try harder. The problem is that trying harder doesn’t work. 

“But God.”

I love those words, “But God.” He intervened; He did for me what I could never do for myself. He opened my eyes. He is so faithful and good, but the journey was a little rough. 

I don’t remember what my efforts at trying were. Probably I was trying to read my Bible more and watch TV less. Needless to say, trying achieved nothing. I was no closer to God or more on fire. In fact, things got a lot worse. 

I woke up about six weeks into this”try-harder phase” and realized I had lost all faith that God even existed.

I woke up about six weeks into this”try-harder phase” and realized I had lost all faith that God even existed. This feeling persisted for a few more weeks and made me feel absolutely miserable. The certainty that God was real and my faith in Him that had always been there like an inner knowing, was gone, and it made me feel very out of sorts. I had no peace.

The funny thing was I actually felt angry at a God I wasn’t sure even existed. 

This time period had coincided with my questioning some of the unique Adventist doctrines I’d grown up with, doctrines that I thought were essential or at least linked with salvation. Perhaps as my belief in them fell apart, it caused my belief in God to falter because the way I knew Him was through a set of beliefs. If they weren’t true ,then maybe He wasn’t true. My faith wasn’t in the person of God but in the beliefs I had about Him. 

But God is faithful. He broke down all my assumptions and misbeliefs and brought me to the simplicity of the true gospel. He showed me the gospel that has the power to save, the one I’m not ashamed of. 

Different Gospels

Did you know there is more than one gospel out there? In Galatians, Paul talks about some people twisting the gospel. I had done that by adding to it. He warns the believers to stick with the gospel he taught them. He is so strong on this warning that he adds, even if an angel from heaven comes and preaches a different gospel, let him be accursed (Gal. 1:6). 

Paul explains the gospel in 1 Corinthians 15.1-4. It says that Christ died for our sins, was buried, and raised on the third day and seen by people, fulfilling Scripture. It’s simple and uncomplicated. There is only one gospel, and there is only one way to be saved by it: believing in Jesus. So, how did I hear this gospel?

In my efforts to be on fire for God, I decided that before watching Netflix I’d watch Christian videos on YouTube. In God’s sovereignty, the right videos at the right time were in my feed. I heard that being saved by grace through faith is not just something we say while privately adding a list of requirements in an attempt to be worthy of salvation. Rather, it is actually true that we are saved purely by grace through faith! 

I heard verses that talk about believing for salvation, that it is a free gift, not something we can earn, add to, or contribute to in any way. In other words, salvation isn’t of works. John 5.24 told me that when I believe, I have eternal life right now; it wasn’t something I had to hope I could have later. All of this seemed too good to be true, too easy. My idea of salvation and the gospel had been that it was as if Jesus made a deposit on an amazing house that I could never afford and then left me with the repayments. He made it possible for me and got me started, and then it was up to me to work hard enough to keep the house, to keep my salvation. Yet this model wasn’t what the Bible said.

I kept listening and reading my Bible, choosing to trust the words of Scripture over my view of how salvation is achieved and maintained.

I kept listening and reading my Bible, choosing to trust the words of Scripture over my view of how salvation is achieved and maintained. Colossians 2.6 says, “Therefore, as you received the Lord Jesus Christ, so walk in Him.” Amazingly, we walk the same way we are saved, by grace through faith in Jesus.

Over a period of nine months the Bible came alive. It was no longer boring, and I started, little by little, to believe. 

I wasn’t on my own in this new venture to believe. I had a friend that talked about God a lot, sharing her story, and my church attendance picked up as the year went on. The funny thing about this friend was that I could see how much she loved Jesus; she had joy and peace. I was just confused about how she could have that joy and peace without having all the extra beliefs I had—without having the Sabbath. I was like, “Why hasn’t the Holy Spirit gotten around to sharing the Sabbath truth with her?” 

It turns out that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life—and she had Him. What I thought was complicated really was very simple. 

Bible Truths

I read more. 1 Corinthians 15 told me to stand in the gospel, to stand in what Jesus did, in His death for my sins, His burial and resurrection, and to hold onto it. Ephesians 1:13 says that in Him you also trusted after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and having believed you were sealed with the Holy Spirit. 

Believing is trusting. Believing for salvation is believing that what He did at the cross is sufficient. It is enough. I read the gospel of John, and it was filled with the theme of believing in Jesus. John 1 told me, that all who believe in His name receive Him and become His child.  John 3:16 says that whoever believes in Him would not perish but have eternal life. John 6:29 states that the work of God is that we believe in Jesus. 

I also read Hebrews which is an entire book about how much better Jesus is than anything to which we can compare Him. Jesus is the once-for-all sacrifice. His work at the cross is sufficient. God doesn’t look at that and think it’s something to which we humans can add. It was as if God opened my eyes and showed me the good news and that the way it works is through believing, not striving. 

My salvation equation went from “Jesus-plus-me equals a maybe chance at being saved” to simply believing in Jesus; trusting in Jesus equals eternal life. I no longer had a Jesus-plus gospel. I am saved not because of what I know or because of what I do but because of who I believe in and what He has done.

I finally had the certainty and assurance of salvation written about in 1 John. I knew I was saved, and the life, the freedom, and the gratitude was—and is—never ending.

I finally had the certainty and assurance of salvation written about in 1 John. I knew I was saved, and the life, the freedom, and the gratitude was—and is—never ending. Jesus did for me what I could never do for myself. He didn’t just start the work and expect me to keep it up. He is the author and the finisher of my faith, and He is faithful. He completes what He starts, working in us to will and to do of His good pleasure. His work is good, and we can trust Him. 

The gospel is foundational. Don’t add to what Jesus has done. I had wanted to be on fire for God, but I had a Jesus-plus-me gospel. So, my efforts only made me frustrated and disillusioned. But God—it’s always “But God”. He acted. He stepped in, and He opened my eyes. He is good; He is faithful, and we can trust Him.

Friends, I just want to finish with this simple thought. It’s from Hebrews 12 where it talks about us being surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, of our laying aside the things that slow us down as we run our race. It says “Run the race set before you, Looking at Jesus.” 

Look at Him. Keep looking at Him, and don’t move on from this. When we look at Him, we become like Him; we lift Him up, and others see Him and can believe in Him. Keep it simple; look at Jesus more than you look at anything else.  

And finally, what is your story? Think about it and share it. The Bible tells us again and again to remember and talk about what God has done, what He is doing and what He will do. Revelation says, “They overcame Him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.”  So, what is your story?  Share it. †