NICOLE STEVENSON
Now what? I remember thinking. I’ve spent all my life believing lies. Everything I’ve built and planned for centered on what I believed in Adventism! How could I have been so fooled? How have all the generations before me been so fooled? Is God even real? Can I trust the Bible? What is truth?
Discovering that life as I knew it had been a facade was deeply disorienting. All the people I’d trusted to tell me the truth about God and about Scripture were either deceived themselves, or they were fatally committed to preserving an intricate system of lies while they suppressed their own cognitive dissonance. Surely, there were even some who were intentionally lying for reasons I cannot pretend to understand.
When I realized I had to leave Adventism, I felt vulnerable, embarrassed, and determined never to be deceived again. With doubt as my armor, I was open to hearing from nearly anyone regarding their view of reality. For a brief time during my exposure to various worldviews, agnosticism was not entirely off the table—not because I didn’t want the Bible to be true, but because if it wasn’t true I didn’t want to be deceived again. By the grace of God I didn’t linger there long. He opened my eyes to Scripture and led me to a sound church and to the discipling of Life Assurance Ministries.
The Prevalence and Danger of Doubt
Doubt is a normal part of faith for all God-fearers and Christians at one time or another. We see this all the way back in the pages of Scripture. From Abraham to Thomas we can see the fragility of human faith as well as the compassion and faithfulness of God in the face of our doubts. Those who bring their doubts to God, pressing into them with the single purpose of resolving them, will always grow in profound ways.
God is not afraid of our doubts or our questions. He is compassionate and merciful and has provided us with all we need in order to know Him and to know reality. He has given us many evidences in Scripture, in nature, and in human history! While the battle for truth in the face of relentless doubts may be long and arduous, the outcome of a battle well fought is always worth it!
However, suppressed or unresolved doubt is like a slow growing cancer of the soul. With no confidence about reality, suddenly all sorts of views can seem plausible. Through tireless mental gymnastics we can think ourselves into syncretism, agnosticism, or even atheism. Replacing unexplored questions with either an eclectic or a godless worldview can camouflage as “resolution” to festering doubt, but it is in fact malignant and hopeless. False answers to good questions is not an improvement upon the trappings of false religion. It’s only a sideways step on the path of deception.
“Post-Cult Doubt”
Doubt is complicated enough for all believers, but there are unique challenges to the doubts we battle after Adventism. I’m calling this kind of doubt a “post-cult doubt”. It’s a doubt that incubated in our minds even as we were committed Adventists—as if it was planted there to bring us back home, or into self ruin, should we ever wander away.
This is a kind of doubt that seems to hide in our Adventist “DNA”, only expressing itself after we leave. It inoculates us against listening to true believers. It infects our ability to trust others and feeds on our Adventist presuppositions about other Christians and their views of God and the Bible. After all, what harm can a former Adventist do to Adventism’s counterfeit Christian posture if they never learn Biblical truth enough to expose them? We can find ourselves so confused that it may seem the only people we can trust are the other confused people.
A Post-Christian World
Former Adventists can now easily find support for their confusion in the barrage of anti-Christian, anti-Bible, former evangelical communities that pepper social media and the internet. Often referring to themselves as deconversionists, they promote their personal testimonies of allowing doubt to “free” them, and they avidly evangelize struggling believers over to a secular worldview—a view they market as the moral high road for humanity.
Not only are there communities actively seeking struggling Christians to “rescue” from faith, there is also an ever-increasing secular worldview that claims that truth is subjective, and to say otherwise is oppressive and hateful. The pressure to capitulate to society has never been more intense in my lifetime.
Acknowledging Doubt
So how do new former Adventists approach their doubts in a culture with so many voices and pressures? I believe that answer is at least twofold (though these are not exhaustive approaches to helping former cultists). First, they need to know they must not fear their doubts or their questions. When people fear their doubts and questions, they often end up suppressing them which only ends up passively deceiving them as they work to find relief from the internal dissonance. Doubting people need to be willing to explore their questions, putting in the work of educating themselves while knowing the road may be long, but that at the end of it they can absolutely know what truth is.
Second, those who doubt need to be met with a compassionate church. We must be prepared to talk honestly about the nature of doubt in the Christian life and to know how to help others deal with it. It’s also helpful to be able to expose the logical fallacies and flaws of the deconversion evangelists that will seek to capture those who leave toxic religion. Most importantly, the church must be prepared to speak confidently and openly about the nature of truth (in all it’s absolutes) as well as the evidences our merciful God has given us to support it.
The Nature of Doubt in the Christian Life
Natasha Craine, author, podcaster, and apologist, is quick to remind us that doubt is not the opposite of faith. Gary Habermas defines doubt as, “A lack of certainty about the truthfulness of Christianity in one’s own faith or how it applies to real life situations.” Oz Guinness describes it as, “A state of mind in suspension between faith and unbelief so that it is neither of them wholly and each of them partly.”
Doubt can come for various reasons. Whether from unanswered intellectual questions regarding the nature of Scripture, creation, origins, or the resurrection, or from questions that arise through suffering or corruption in the church, there are many ways that doubt creeps into our lives. While it can feel isolating, it’s important that we do not suppress our questions for fear of loss, or in hope that they will simply pass in time. Doubt invites us into discovering truth. Suppressed doubt invites us to settle into either pretense or deception.
Mistaken Responses to Doubt in the Church
In a sermon titled, “Dealing with Doubt in the Christian Life,” Bible scholar Mike Kruger describes two primary ways churches can fail to respond to those struggling with doubt. First, he says, there are churches that function within a doubt shaming culture. In a mistaken assumption that the opposite of faith is doubt (or that the opposite of doubt is self-willed blind belief), they can treat doubt like it’s sin. They may treat those who doubt like they’re dangerous to others, or they may misunderstand their questions as rebellion. Many with doubts who’ve asked for help in these churches will find themselves marginalized. Sadly, they often determine that there must not be any answers for their questions. With the combination of unanswered questions and hurt over how they’ve been treated, it becomes even easier to walk away from Christianity altogether.
At the same time, another failed response from the church can be when doubt is celebrated. Kruger explained that, “Some people will tell you that the ultimate Christian virtue now is doubt.” He went on to say, “There are groups who say that the problem with Christianity today is that everyone is far too certain in what they believe and that it’s ruining the church.” These ideas lead congregations away from orthodoxy and into “squishy faith” anchored on the notion that all that matters is your experience with the divine. This does nothing to help those who have important questions. Biblical faith is not without evidence and reason.
How to Deal with Doubt
“Doubting is a fight. It’s a battle. Battles are rarely over quickly. Battles rarely happen without casualties. Battles are never easy.”
To survive a hostile world while keeping your faith intact there has to be a recognition that you’re in it for the long haul. That there’s going to be those ups and downs, but you’re going to stay in the fight. Keep your eye on the finish line, even in the midst of the challenges that come your way. If, in fact, the first little skirmish we hit we wave the white flag, it doesn’t bode well for the perseverance of the faith.
Of course you’re gonna have doubts, of course you’re gonna have problems, of course you’re gonna have worries, of course you’re gonna have things you can’t answer. Just because you don’t have an answer doesn’t mean there’s not an answer. Don’t confuse you not having an answer with there not being an answer. Stay in the fight.” —Mike Kruger
In his sermon quoted above, Kruger encourages those facing doubts to do four very important things in order to deal with them. First, don’t go it alone! Don’t isolate! Take your doubts into fellowship with the body of Christ. “Almost everybody that’s lost their way has lost their way because they lost their fellowship that could keep them on the path,” he admonished.
As a new former Adventist, staying engaged can be a hard thing to face. How does a former Adventist who has never been in a Christian church “stay in fellowship”? How can they even know how to find a Christian fellowship they trust? When we take Kruger’s words seriously and consider the fact that most new former Adventists are not in fellowship with the body of Christ, we can see the dire need for compassionate and informed ministry to them committed to teaching them not only that they can trust the Bible but also why they can, as well as how to find a healthy body of believers who handle the Bible rightly.
If you find yourself in need of help trusting the Bible, please consider reaching out. While Life Assurance Ministries was never intended to be a replacement for gathering with the local church, let me encourage you to get in touch with them. They are extremely skilled in moving you through this process and helping you learn to trust the Word and to take the steps needed to find fellowship with other believers. You can write to FormerAdventist@gmail.com and ask about the weekly zoom Bible studies and fellowship time.
Kruger’s next advice is, “Study, study, study!” While this may seem overwhelming or perhaps even “re-injuring” after Adventism, it’s important to remember what’s at stake. If Christianity is true, what you believe about it will determine your eternal destiny. The study is part of the battle, and the battle for truth is always worth the fight.
Next, Kruger urges those with doubts to pursue wise counsel. Seeking those who are experts in the field they have questions about can greatly expedite the process of finding good answers to good questions. Kruger also encourages those with doubts to stay connected with mature believers who can pray for them and give them counsel along the way.
Last, he says, “Doubt your doubts. Recognize that when you doubt, you’re tempted to replace your Christian belief with another belief.” Before a person decides they cannot trust the Bible, they ought to consider what the’ll replace that worldview with, then put that new worldview to the same level of scrutiny to which they put the Bible.
Avoiding the Swell of Deconversionism
As mentioned above, new former Adventists today are more likely than ever to face additional hurdles to finding truth after leaving Adventism. With the growing hostility toward Christianity in general, and with the trending deconversion hype on social media, there are new points of entry for doubt to grow and take hold. If this dynamic takes a person by surprise, it can be additionally disorienting. Being aware of the issues and seeing the logical fallacies and flaws of the movement will equip new formers to sidestep deconversion evangelizing traps.
Through countless social media platforms, the internet is ablaze with unexamined questions about the trustworthiness of the Bible and the morality of the God of Scripture. Alleged incongruities between the Bible and science are launched into the virtual-verse with impassioned emojis and recanting hashtags. Indignation over corruption in the church and the hypocrisy of Christians has ignited a firestorm of claims of moral superiority among those who claim “god is a primitive fabrication of human fragility” which has been disproven by “science”. With a secular platform that claims to celebrate justice, subjective truth, love, and freedom, the draw for the doubter to give up their quest for “a god they can’t prove” in order to find peace with the world is intense.
The thing about the great deconversion culture is that while they will often hurl accusing questions against Christianity out into the world, they almost never offer explanations of how they resolved their questions with a better answer. They let their discontent or disgust sit on the web like a virtual “drop the mic” moment and offer no evidence that they sought answers for their questions or responses to their concerns. The mere fact that they had questions, doubt, or indignation was enough to cause them to walk away angry—sometimes feeling victimized—and to invite others to join them in their revolt or “new freedom”.
Many of these deconversionists don’t offer context for their experiences as Christians. They leave the audience assuming they walked away from a full understanding of the Biblical worldview. In her book “Faithfully Different,” apologist Natasha Craine writes, “Biola University professor John Marriott has conducted what is perhaps the most comprehensive research to date on deconversions from Christianity to atheism in particular.” In his research Marriott found that one important factor among deconversionists was the context from which they were leaving. Marriott explained that a disproportionate number of deconverts came from legalistic, “fundamentalist” backgrounds, which he characterizes as, “The avoidance of taboos, an embrace of anti-intellectualism, and a negative posture to those outside Christianity” (p.117). Among a majority of those who left the faith were people escaping legalism and teachings that were often inconsistent with the Bible.
Common Catalysts to Doubt and Deconversion
In her book Craine details some of the common catalysts that drive people to deconversion. Among them are Intellectual Catalysts which are born of unanswered intellectual questions. Then there are Emotional Catalysts, which she explains are “doubts that arise from a more subjective response to experiences with the church or Christians,” (p. 115). And last, there are Moral Indignation Catalysts which are “rooted in a person’s perception that their innate sense of morality is superior to the morality they believe is taught in the Bible or supported by the church,” (and116).
Craine explains, “For those citing intellectual reasons, it’s often presented as seeing how unreasonable believing the God of the Bible is. For those citing emotional reasons, it’s often presented as seeing how hurtful the church or Christians are. And for those citing moral indignation reasons, it’s often presented as seeing how guilty the historic Christian church has been for its position or role in social or historical issues.” Interestingly, none of them are dealing with the evidences for the empty tomb or the explosion of the church thereafter.
The Evangelism of Deconversionists: An Avalanche of Questions
The recruiting efforts of deconversionists are usually a presentation of, what Craine calls, an avalanche of questions. Craine gave the example of former Hillsong member, Marty Sampson who wrote on Instagram:
“This is a soapbox moment so here I go…How many preachers fall? Many. No one talks about it. How many miracles happen. Not Many. No one talks about it. Why is the Bible full of contradictions? No one talks about it. How can God be love yet send four bullion people to a place, all ‘coz they don’t believe? No one talks about it.”
Another example came from popular ex-Christian rapper Jahaziel who wrote:
“Now, after 20 years of being vocal about the positives of Christian faith, I would like to take some time to be equally vocal about the negatives I have found, i.e., Christianity and its controlling dictatorship, its historic blood trail, its plagiarized Bible stories, characters and concepts, the many human errors of the Bible and its contradictions, the brutal nature of its god, its involvement in the slave trade, the crusades, the inquisitions, the which hunts…you get the drift.”
Craine writes,
“If a person has never heard (much less researched) claims like these, doubts can be triggered quickly: If this is true, what else do I not know? Furthermore, the implication that the deconvert has already looked into the answers and deconverted because of what they found sends a powerful message to the uninitiated: There’s a reason Christians don’t want to talk about this stuff. Once you look into these things, there are no good answers,” (p118).
Certainly Adventism did not prepare us for secular criticism of Christian orthodoxy. Instead it prepared us to face a time of persecution for Sabbath-keeping, a martyrdom for Sabbath-keeping, and proof-text apologetics for Sabbath keeping. New formers are, by and large, not prepared to respond to current criticisms of the faith. In fact, progressive Adventists who leave are likely to be sympathetic to and swayed by these criticisms since much of their experience inside of Adventism included fighting the system for progressive ideas.
Don’t Be Swept Away By The Avalanche
Some of the questions raised by those who ultimately leave the faith are good questions! Sadly, they were questions that were not pursued or that those they trusted could not answer. Some of the concerns are good concerns that need to be discussed and understood in their context. Many of the questions and concerns raised are not new. They’re old arguments that have old and good answers if one will take the time to search them out. Don’t be swayed by the avalanches of questions as if their very existence somehow discredits the faith. Instead, pursue the answers to them.
My prayer for new formers is that they will not be swept away by their own doubts or by the avalanche evangelism of the deconversionists, but that they will pursue truth with everything in them. I pray they will not follow “the former” (be it the former Christian, or the former Adventist) but that they will follow the evidence.
Our Faith is Not Without Evidence
“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1).
Some people will look at the Bible’s definition of faith and will focus on the word “hope”. They’ll often distill Biblical faith down to “wishful thinking” or “blind belief”. They ignore the reality that our faith is generated by assurance and conviction which are both given to us by God Himself.
Put differently, Faith is the conviction that the assurances given to us by God in Scripture (though not yet seen as fulfilled) can be trusted. This assurance results in a fixed hope produced by the promised outcome given by the One we trust. Biblical faith is fundamentally about trusting the evidence given to us in God’s specific revelation detailed in Scripture! A quick walk through the “hall of faith” in Hebrews 11 will show the honest reader that the faith of the faithful men and women listed there came after the assurances and call of God. He moved toward them with a message first. Faith is a response to God; it’s not something that generates Him.
While we cannot immediately produce the evidential certainty of outcomes that unbelievers ask for, we can point to the evidences that give assurance to our trust. To begin with it’s helpful to talk about what trust is. Faith (which is trust) is something we all exercise on a daily basis with confidence derived from external evidences which cannot provide evidential certainty of outcomes.
In her book Faithfully Different, Natasha Craine uses the example of the trust we exhibit every time we get in our car to drive to a destination, or the trust we exhibit when we eat an apple purchased from the grocery store, or when we allow a surgeon to perform our needed surgeries. In none of these examples are we given a certainty of outcomes. We could get into a car accident; we could contract food poisoning, or we could have a con-artist for a “surgeon”. Even so, various external evidences given in life have provided us with good reason to proceed in faith in each of these situations.
The trust Christians are often mocked for is in fact more certain than the kind of trust that all humanity engages in on a daily basis. Trust in Scripture is a trust rooted in a certainty of outcome on the basis of the resurrection of Christ! Even so, Craine demonstrated that it is not unreasonable, blind, or wishful to believe in evidences that don’t provide evidential certainty of outcomes. So the claim that Christian faith is “irrational”, “wishful thinking”, or “baseless” is profoundly false and is a weak attempt to distract from the real evidences to believe.
Primary Evidence for Christianity
“An evil and adulterous generation seeks for a sign, but no sign will be given to it except the sign of Jonah” (Matthew 16:4).
The unbelieving Pharisees approached Jesus and asked Him to show them a sign from Heaven. They wanted the miracle. The easy way out. They may as well have said, “Don’t make us work for this truth. If you are who you say you are, then just show us a sign!”
He answered them, “When it is evening, you say, ‘It will be fair weather, for the sky is red.’ And in the morning, ‘It will be stormy today, for the sky is red and threatening.’ You know how to interpret the appearance of the sky, but you cannot interpret the signs of the times.”
While many will use this passage to argue that we should be able to see from headlines and the political climate that Jesus is coming any day, I would argue a different point here. In His response to them, Jesus detailed how in other parts of life the Pharisees could read evidence in order to accurately understand outcomes, but in regard to who Jesus was, they ignored and suppressed the evidence they already had that pointed to Him.
We know from the Old Testament that the Pharisees should have recognized Jesus. Daniel is clear when the Messiah would come! But they did not study or know the evidence already provided them. Had they done so, they would not have asked Jesus for a sign, they would have worshiped Him! Jesus would offer no new sign apart from the sign of Jonah— the resurrection of Christ!
The Litmus Test For Christianity
“And if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain” (1 Corinthians 15:14).
The request for a straightforward “sign from God” before a person trusts Him didn’t die with the Pharisees. I still hear people ask why God can’t make this easier on everybody. This posture before God is aligned with the Pharisees who suppressed the evidence they’d already been given by projecting blame onto God for not doing it their way.
We have been given a sign in Christ, the sign of His death, burial, and resurrection. If you are struggling with doubts on any Biblical topic, this is where you must begin. This is the litmus test. If Jesus did not rise from the dead, then nothing else the Christians teach matters. Whether your questions are about Christian conduct, science and the Bible, the inerrancy of Scripture, the morality of God, or any other subject, none of the answers will satisfy you until you know that Jesus is who He said He is. Once you are clear on this, you will have a place to move forward while seeking answers to your other questions because you will have your source for authority.
When I talk to some people about this litmus test they’ll often argue that using the Bible as a source for truth regarding the resurrection is circular reasoning. I understand this concern. Be encouraged, though, because there is a great deal of evidence for the empty tomb outside of Scripture that does not conflict with the testimony of Scripture. Many highly educated doubters have embarked on a journey to discover whether the events of history found in secular historical works corroborates with the testimony of Scripture and they have come to have a great faith. Let me recommend you begin this research with Josh and Sean McDowell’s great work, Evidence that Demands a Verdict.
Once you see that Jesus is in fact God’s Son risen from the dead, you will understand why Christians believe and try to obey all that He taught in His Word. You, too, will have a new authority in your life as you seek for answers to the rest of your questions.
Doubt is NOT A Sign God Gave Up On You
“Now when John heard in prison about the deeds of the Christ, he sent word by his disciples and said to him, “Are you the one who is to come, or shall we look for another?” And Jesus answered them, “Go and tell John what you hear and see: the blind receive their sight and the lame walk, lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear, and the dead are raised up, and the poor have good news preached to them. And blessed is the one who is not offended by me” (Matthew 11:2-6).
There was a time when I struggled with depression and doubt. During that time I knew that God was real, but I worried my doubts were a sign that I wasn’t among the elect, that He was letting me slip away. After all, those who are His believe forever, right? During that time I read the account of John the Baptist in prison and saw it in a new way. John’s conception was a miracle. He heard the story of the angel who told his father that he and Elizabeth would have a son in their old age and that they would name him John and that he would be a forerunner to the Messiah. He knew how his dad’s unbelief caused him to become mute until after John was born. He knew about Aunt Mary visiting his mom and how they were immediately filled with the Holy Spirit. John took a vow to serve God indicating that he believed all he’d been told. Then, one day he saw Jesus and he audibly heard God’s voice tell him that He was the Messiah. Furthermore, John saw the Holy Spirit descend on Jesus like a dove! How much more assurance does one need?
Yet, in his suffering, John faced doubt—so much doubt that he sent a messenger to Jesus (not fearing the exposure of his doubt) to ask for assurances. Jesus did offer assurance. He told John that the prophecies about Messiah were being fulfilled. The evidences that the Pharisees should have known and understood which indicated the times they were living in were the very evidences that Jesus sent to comfort John the Baptist during his last days on earth.
Not only did Jesus comfort John and not condemn or shame him, He also gave a public commendation of John at that very moment! “Truly, I say to you, among those born of women there has arisen no one greater than John the Baptist.” (Matt 11:11a).
Another example of Jesus’ compassion for doubt came when the disciples told Thomas that Jesus had risen from the dead. Thomas told them he would not believe unless he could put his hands in His very wounds. A week later when Jesus came to them again He told Thomas to place his hands in His sides and see that it was true. Jesus did not condemn or send Thomas away. Thomas desiring evidence was not a sign that God had given up on him. Rather, in His compassion, God provided the evidence gladly! It was the evidence of the resurrection that converted the early disciples, and that’s the same evidence that still speaks today. It’s evidence contained both in Scripture and in secular human history.
Now What?
By the grace of God I pursued the questions that emerged after I saw the deception of Adventism. I know with great assurance and conviction that God is real, the Bible can be trusted, and truth is a Person. Jesus is alive, and He knows you and where you’ve been. He knows your questions, and He will lead you to truth if you’ll let him. Our God has compassion for us in our doubts. “A bruised reed he will not break, and a faintly burning wick he will not quench; he will faithfully bring forth justice,” (Isaiah 42:3).
Our God is a God who moves toward people. He reveals Himself in His word, and one way or another we will all deal with Him. He will move toward us either in judgement or in grace. There is too much at stake to be swayed by our fears and doubts, or by a raging world actively seeking to pull us into eternal unbelief. So, now what? Will you fight to know the Way, the Truth, and the Life?
Natasha Craine has a list of ten principals for dealing with doubt that I’d like to leave you with. I pray that you will take seriously her encouragements, remembering that doubt is a normal part of faith but that it must not be ignored. The God who gives faith to His people promises that He will complete what He starts in us. As you walk toward truth in honest pursuit remember, “If Christianity is true, the solution for doubt isn’t to bury it in the fear of what you might find; it’s to investigate questions more deeply,” (Craine, Faithfully Different)
10 Key Principles for Dealing with Doubt, by Natasha Craine
(Faithfully Different, pp. 123-127)
- Be honest with yourself about the nature of truth: Don’t seek the truth you prefer over the truth that exists.
- Remember that truth has nothing to fear— even if the Christians you know don’t welcome or can’t answer your questions: “If those you know can’t answer your questions it just means that those you know can’t answer your questions.” Be thorough in your search.
- Search your doubt to find its root: Find the foundational question at the core of all the other doubts.
- Know the truth test for Christianity: “If Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith” (1 Corinthians 15:14).
- Make sure the things you’re doubting are things the Bible actually teaches: Examples of reasons people reject the Bible: “I cannot hate my LGBTQ+ friends,” “I cannot support the abuse I see in the church.” Etc. The Bible does not teach either of these things!
- Separate problems with church or Christians from problems with Christianity: Hurtful experiences don’t have anything to do with the truth of Christianity.
- Be willing to put in the work to resolve your questions: too many people come to a decision simply because they don’t have “time” or “energy” to research. “If Christianity is true, there are eternal implications for what you believe.”
- Proactively expose yourself to faith challenges. Know the claims against the faith and expect them before they come.
- Explicitly identify your alternative to Christianity: “The questions should never be ‘How do I get rid of all the unanswered questions I have?’ But rather, ‘Which worldview offers the best explanation of reality?’”
- Pray and read the Bible: “You need to be able to distinguish between what the Bible teaches and the claims people make about what it teaches.”
- No Compromise! - October 31, 2024
- Truth Triumphs Over Terror - September 5, 2024
- Where is the Comfort For My Grief? - July 11, 2024