When the time came to return to school Edie and I drove Dad’s car, a 1950 dark blue Hudson, back to MBA. Edie would be a freshman, and this was my senior year. It was still the middle of watermelon season and Dad and Mom were too busy to take time off to drive us out. We were thankful for friends in the Lorna Linda area when our car broke down, making it necessary to be towed to Jim Gray’s garage for repairs. We stayed with the Grays overnight while he repaired the car and the next day we drove all the way to Monterey Bay Academy. Students were not supposed to have cars, and my parents had not arranged with the school for me to have one, however, the faculty did agree to let me park it behind the girls’ dorm. It became very useful for going home on vacations. Neither had my parents pre-registered Edie. The freshman dorm was full, so she and I shared a twin bed all year.
At the end of registration day there was always a corn roast and watermelon feed on the beach. This was a great time of renewing friendships and meet ing new friends. We ate delicious roasted corn that the students prepared by building a fire in a trench. When the coals were red hot they were covered with a little sand, and then the com, still in the husk, was placed in the trench. More sand was now added on top of the com. This became an oven that cooked the com to a scrumptious perfection. After we ate there were always games. Dale and I somehow managed to be in the same group. When we were holding hands playing Flying Dutchman he squeezed my hand and said, “This seems familiar.” I just squeezed his hand without saying a word. There was an informal banquet the next week, and Dale told me he was going to serve. My roommate Edith Forgey said that if he served at my table it would mean he still liked me. I did not know what to think of this idea, but Dale did serve at the table where I was sitting with a friend.
Even without our planning we did have several of the same classes. The one I remember most was Bible Doctrines class where we sat next to each other. Since we were not going steady as a couple, it was acceptable. This was the fall of 1955. This was MBA.
My job that year was to dismiss tables in the cafeteria. All the tables were numbered and students were given a table number as they came through the doors. They would sit down and wait for me to tell them when they could go through the line to get their food. I had to keep track of how fast the line was moving or students would stack up at the entrance to the food line, and Miss Gibson, my supervisor, didn’t like that to happen. She said that if the students were just standing too long they would think up some kind of mischief. I didn’t earn much money, but I liked my job as it let me get acquainted with all the nearly 350 students.
Dale’s job was to stand at the door on the boys’ side and assign the table numbers to the boys. He did this every meal except on date table night. I began noticing that every night he was with a different girl. This didn’t bother me too much until I began seeing him with the same girl all the time. She was a pretty girl, a straight “A” student, very talented musically, and very popular. There was always a pain in my heart as I came to dismiss his table when he was with this girl.
I began spending time with a senior guy, and we were special friends for a while. He wanted to go steady; I did not. We did not have much in common, except that both our parents were farmers. Our goals were in different areas. He wanted to be a farmer. I had had enough of farming. One night after coming up from the auditorium I told him that I would still be his friend but not a special friend any longer. He didn’t understand and thought I was trying to be too serious about life. I tried to explain to him that I had goals of college and of someday being a missionary nurse or teacher. He said that was fine, but why did I have to worry about that now. I tried to explain that I just wanted to keep focused on my goals, and that to always be with someone who didn’t agree with these goals I might be persuaded to change. I didn’t want to change my goals as I felt called to work in God’s kingdom in some capacity and wanted to keep that ever before me. He acted really confused now, and I felt bad, but also knew that I had done the right thing. Dale and I had often prayed together and always for each other. I just could not imagine praying with this boy. It was not that I did not think he was a Christian; it just did not seem comfortable.
Few other boys asked me for date tables and one even said, “We can’t ask you; you still belong to Dale.” I was shocked and somewhat hurt. I didn’t belong to Dale. He was “dating” many girls. Why would the guys feel I was still his? I felt this assessment was unfair and continued to feel a stab in my heart on nights when I saw Dale with a girl, and I was only dismissing tables.
In January the guys were to ask the girls, through a formal written invitation, to the All-School Banquet. Every day in the dorm girls were getting excited over the notes of invitation they were receiving from some special person. The squeals of delight were often heard in the hallways. The invitation time was well underway, and I hadn’t been asked by anyone. Then, under my dorm room door, I found a letter from “Just Me,” addressed to Carolyn Mundall.
I immediately knew the “Just Me” was Dale. He had often had this on the outside of letters he had written to me. My hands trembled as I picked it up and read.
Jan 24-, 1956, 11: 15 a.m. Dear Carolyn: It has been a long time since I have written to you . Do you remember the agreement that we made last year? Well it still stands with me. I have tried to go around with some of the other girls here, but I have not found any that I really like very well. It looks to me that you have done the same. I heard that the reason that you broke up with Tom was that you still liked me. Well Carolyn, I still like you. I have heard that the boys have to write in a formal letter to ask the girls for the banquet. Will you go with me to the all-school banquet? If you do, that will mean that I have never sat at a banquet with any one but you. I served at the first one with Ramona, but I didn’t sit with her. I wanted to talk with you last night but I didn’t feel very good so I decided I would write to you instead. It sure makes me mad that I have to get these sore throats all the time. I don’t feel too bad today though. Not near as bad as I thought I would after playing ball last night. I want you to pray about this thing. If it is the Lord’s will that we should go together again or if He doesn’t want us to. I want to do the right thing and I know that you do too. I know that God has guided us in the past and He will do the same for us now. I will give this note to Lyle Pollett, my roommate, or Ray Tally to give to you. Your Old Friend Dale
When I got this note from Dale I was utterly astonished. I wrote this note to myself a few days later.
I was so surprised to get this note from Dale I cried and cried. Dale was sick and had sent the note over with Lyle, his roommate. Before we went to chemistry lab my roommate, Edith and I knelt and asked the Lord to lead Dale and me. That night I couldn’t sleep so I prayed. I asked the Lord that if it was His will that we get back together that Dale would be up the next day so we would have a chance to talk. I also asked the Lord for a sign. I wanted Dale to wear the shirt I had made for him as a sign that if we went back together it would be for good. It was hard for me to pray that because I wanted him to be up and to wear his shirt, but I didn’t know if it would be the Lord’s will. I prayed “thy will be done.”
The next morning on the way to the cafeteria I was irritated with myself for praying the way I had. I knew what I wanted. Would it also be God’s will?
Since we both worked in the cafeteria we would often meet at the time clock, however, most of the time Dale punched in before I did. As I walked in the dark to the cafeteria the next morning, I was nervous as I anticipated what I would see when I checked in for work. As I came through the cafeteria lobby and turned the comer to the time clock I was filled with a marvelous ecstasy that I tried to contain. Dale was up! He was wearing the shirt I had made for him! I said in my heart, “OK, thank you Lord. Now I will wait for Your timing!” I now had a secret joy I held in my heart as I would wait for the story to unfold in God’s timing.
We agreed to meet at the social hall during play period that night to talk. There I told Dale that I could not stand to break up again, and that if we should get back together I felt we should wait until it could be for good or not at all. He said he felt the same way. I accepted his invitation to go with him to the banquet.
I made a new long yellow dress for the occasion and Dale gave me a red corsage to wear. Going together to this banquet was such an exceptional occasion.
Dale and Carolyn at the All-school Banquet.
I wrote this note on the back of the picture.
This was taken at the all school banquet as we were eating. Dale has gone with no one but me to a banquet. This is the first thing we did together since we got back together on January 24. We had a lot of fun. Afterwards we helped clean up and we wore our shirt and skirt alike. He told me he loved me that night and it made me feel so good.
I normally loved Bible Doctrines class and memorized all the key texts for each of the Seventh-day Adventist doctrines. However, the lesson on the investigative judgment doctrine troubled me. This doctrine was portrayed by one artist as a big God on His throne in heaven, and a very small man kneeling before Him begging for forgiveness. This was a traumatizing picture. God had a stem look on His face as if He were waiting to condemn the little person kneeling in front of Him. As we studied this doctrine, which teaches that one must be perfect when his or her name comes up in judgment, it was frightening. It taught that the judgment began in 1844 and would continue until just before Christ returns. Christ started at Adam and was going over the names of the saints from that time on to see who was worthy for heaven. One must be perfect and have no unconfessed sins when Christ came to his or her name. How would I know if I were perfect?
In addition, if I were perfect when my name came up before God in heaven, how would I know I could remain perfect? It seemed that perfection like Christ’s perfection would be a hard thing to achieve. Furthermore, even though I tried every day to be as good as I could be, I knew in my heart this was not good enough. It also seemed that the harder I tried to be perfect the more obnoxious I saw myself becoming. I was setting up standards I knew I must adhere to, and at the same time, I felt other students should be living by the same standards.
After class I heard some of the guys say, “There is no use. We might as well give up now and just have a good time. We will never be perfect.” I felt sad when I heard their statements. I knew I was not going to give up. I must try harder to reach the perfection that was being required in this teaching.
As I walked up the hill to my dormitory room, I remembered the verse I had memorized in the third grade. I prayed, “Lord, I do not understand this doctrine. I have no idea when you will get to my name in the books of heaven. I do not know if I will have reached perfection at that time, but I am just going to trust in You, because You have promised in 1 John 1:9 that ‘If we confess our sins You are faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”‘
My Cup Overflows. Copyright © 2009 by Carolyn Ratzlaff. All Scripture quotations—except where otherwise noted—are from The New American Standard Bible, © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1975, 1979, 1994 by the Lockman Foundation, used by permission. All rights reserved. Life Assurance Ministries, Inc.
Carolyn has always been a positive person enjoying life and outdoor activities such as hiking and gardening, and she and her husband currently raise a good portion of their own food in small grow boxes. She also reads many health journals and is often surprised at the contrast between what was taught through the writings of Ellen White on forbidden items of diet and health, and the beneficial evidence of these same items which is supported by a plethora of scientific studies.
She and her husband Dale Ratzlaff have two married sons and four grandchildren.
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