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Ellen White on Weak Men Marrying Strong Women

I have to admit I didn’t think I could be surprised by something Ellen White said; go figure—I was. The following two paragraphs are from Selected Messages book 2, page 423.  Have you heard these statements ever being discussed within Adventism? Since everything she wrote came from God, shouldn’t older men take comfort from this?

Sickly men have often won the affections of women apparently healthy, and because they loved each other, they felt themselves at perfect liberty to marry, neither considering that by their union the wife must be a sufferer, more or less, because of the diseased husband. In many cases the diseased husband improves in health, while the wife shares his disease. He lives very much upon her vitality, and she soon complains of failing health. He prolongs his days by shortening the days of his wife. Those who thus marry commit sin in lightly regarding health and life given to them of God to be used to his glory. But if those who thus enter the marriage relation were alone concerned, the sin would not be so great. Their offspring are compelled to be sufferers by disease transmitted to them. Thus disease has been perpetuated from generation to generation. And many charge all this weight of human misery upon God, when their wrong course of action has brought the sure result. They have thrown upon society an enfeebled race, and done their part to deteriorate the race, by rendering disease hereditary, and thus accumulating human suffering (2SM 423.2).

Another cause of the deficiency of the present generation in physical strength and moral worth, is, men and women uniting in marriage whose ages widely differ. It is frequently the case that old men choose to marry young wives. By thus doing the life of the husband has often been prolonged, while the wife has had to feel the want of that vitality which she has imparted to her aged husband. It has not been the duty of any woman to sacrifice life and health, even if she did love one so much older than herself, and felt willing on her part to make such a sacrifice. She should have restrained her affections. She had considerations higher than her own interest to consult. She should consider, if children be born to them, what would be their condition? It is still worse for young men to marry women considerably older than themselves. The offspring of such unions in many cases, where ages widely differ, have not well-balanced minds. They have been deficient also in physical strength. In such families have frequently been manifested varied, peculiar, and often painful, traits of character. They often die prematurely, and those who reach maturity, in many cases, are deficient in physical and mental strength, and moral worth (2SM 423.3).

 “You can smile when you can’t say a word…”

—VIA EMAIL

 

Help! My Church Is Doing Foot Washing!

I have gotten so much from Proclamation! Each week there is something that relates to something I’m either going through or did go through. The “Box” was so descriptive of what I was going through. I don’t have the rules or regulations, so what do I do now? I have to depend on the Holy Spirit and my conscience. It’s scary.

The recent article on foot washing was really helpful. Before becoming Adventist, I was looking for a church where I could feel “connected” or “at home”. In my research, I went to a non-denominational church that seemed to be what I was looking for—until Communion Sunday. They had foot washing! To me it was an act of false humility and a ritual unrelated to communion. I never went back. I felt my privacy had been violated. It was just as bad as at the Adventist congregation. Eventually I just refused and sat in the sanctuary with my grandson. He wasn’t allowed in with me anyway, because the males couldn’t go in with women. 

To me, having to remove any part of my clothing, even hose, was an invasion of privacy and wasn’t anything like what Jesus did. I believed Jesus was actually teaching them a lesson of humility. Making it a ritual is so wrong.

Now the Sunday church I’m attending is planning to start up foot washing. I was crestfallen when I heard that announcement. I’m so against this ritual. I hate it; I really do…Has Adventism infiltrated all the Protestant churches? Is there no escape? I’m just thinking out loud (on paper). 

Anyway, thank you for your work, the ministry of LAM. Keep going you’re a life-line. I’m so glad foot-washing isn’t really connected to communion.

—WAYNESBORO, PA

Response: I’m so sorry for your dilemma with foot washing! Is your current church requiring foot washing before you can take communion? Or is it a separate service, or an optional ceremony? 

I know that when I participated with some former Adventist women in an optional foot-washing service at a Christian women’s retreat years ago, it redeemed that old Adventist ritual. When we participated, it had nothing to do with communion, and we washed each other’s feet in a setting of thankfulness and gratitude that God had led us out of that dark deception that had twisted every text of Scripture it touched! 

That being said, if foot washing is being introduced as a spiritual discipline for helping you feel more holy and connected to God, I wouldn’t blame you for being uncomfortable with it. I know that sometimes churches introduce “spiritual disciplines” designed to enhance one’s spiritual experience, and I have heard of churches offering hand or foot washing as part of such offerings.

I consider these “works” presented as spiritual disciplines for intensifying spiritual responses and experiences to be nothing more than “works” by which people believe they are becoming closer to God. Scripture, however, does not teach either sanctification or personal growth as resulting from spiritual disciplines. God Himself completes what is begun in us (Phil. 1:6), and He places His Spirit in us to convict us and grow us as we learn to trust Him in deeper and deeper ways. 

I refer you to this article by Martin Carey which appeared in the Winter, 2013, issue of Proclamation!: “Are You Formed By Disciplines?”

 

Copying Scripture Helps

Firstly, thank you so much for your thoughtful and very helpful responses.

I do feel better and am ready to visit the new church this coming Sunday—with my husband’s support even though he won’t go with me. I have looked at some John MacArthur’s teachings and agree with you that a lot of what he says is helpful…

I have started to copy out John’s Gospel; what a difference it makes. Thank you for that tip. I will certainly continue. It really does help to soak the Scriptures into one’s soul. I even compared some of the Greek words to appreciate a verse better.

—VIA EMAIL