Raising Children Who Love the Word

By Amy Herwig

The daunting task of teaching and training our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord is a subject which has filled numerous books over the centuries. If you doubt it, just check out the parenting section of any local Christian book seller or Amazon Bookstore. There are more titles on this one subject than one could read in a lifetime. These books are written by well-meaning authors hoping to provide the worn-out parent with the secret of how to produce near-perfect, godly children. The problem with many of these books is that they can only address part of the challenge that we as parents face.

Here’s our dilemma as Christian parents: how do we fulfill the command found in Scripture to bring up our children to love and fear God (Eph. 6:1-4)? I believe one of our biggest obstacles to achieving this command is that we get caught up in this culture’s pragmatic, post-Christian, and formulaic thinking. We want a 7-Step program that will ensure first-time obedience in our children and end with the assurance of heaven-bound offspring.

Wow! Wouldn’t that be nice?

However, in our self-absorbed, American, quasi-Christian culture we find that though we involve our children in many “Christian” activities, encouraging them to listen to “Christian” music and to read “Christian” literature, these activities often occur at the neglect of teaching them the Scriptures. It isn’t uncommon to find that many Christian parents don’t talk with their children about eternal things but rather about moral things. After all, it is much easier to give children a list of do’s and don’ts than to teach them about our Lord Jesus and the good news of the gospel as it is revealed from Genesis to Revelation. The gospel, though, doesn’t come to us as a list of things to do or not to do but as truth to be believed (Acts 10:34-43), and in this truth we find the problem: we are all born in sin and are children of wrath (Eph. 2:3). Each child with whom the Lord blesses us is born a sinner, alienated from God, and in need of a Savior. There is nothing that we can do to make us acceptable before a Holy God. We need a Savior, and that Savior is the Lord Jesus Christ (Gal. 2:16). This is the Good News we must believe and proclaim to our children.

 

Challenges we face

I would argue that there are at least three things that prevent us from teaching biblical truth to our children. One is that we are lazy. Admit it—isn’t it easier to find a good Christian video on a subject and plop our children in front of the T.V. than it is to open our Bibles, read portions of Scripture to them, and then discuss the passages together? We would rather use our time to do something else.

The second thing keeping us from teaching our children is the assumption that our church programs or our Christian schools will teach them what they need to learn about God. As parents, however, it is our primary responsibility before the Lord to train our children according to His Word. Of course we welcome godly input from other men and women in the body of Christ, but this enrichment should only be in addition to what they are learning about God from us.

The third thing blinding us to our need to teach our children is a fallacy that has crept into our evangelical thinking: that children growing up in Christian homes are more likely to be saved. After all, they go to church, sing praises to Jesus, pray, serve with their parents, and know all the answers to quizzes on well-known Bible stories. Moreover, they pray the prayer to receive Christ and are often baptized at a young age. We know, of course, that children come to faith in Christ at various ages and that we are to help them grow in that faith, yet we often evaluate them on outward appearances. We cannot know the hearts of our children, but we are commanded to look for fruit—the kind of fruit that only the Holy Spirit can bring forth in their lives (Gal. 5:22-23). We often fail to look for such fruit because we see them “fitting in” with their Christian environments.

 

One Track

There are many false gospels flaunting themselves as the “real deal” in the world today, but it is our responsibility to teach our children the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ found only in the Holy Scriptures (1 Cor. 15:1-8). One may say at this point, “That sounds nice, but how do we do that?” It struck me the other day, as I pondered the answer to this question, that there aren’t two separate tracks of coming to faith in Christ, one for adults and another for children. One may say, “That’s obvious,” but if we look at most of the children’s books, Bibles, and curricula available today, we will see a very different God and gospel than what is taught in Scripture.

For example, most current children’s books depict biblical characters as cartoons with cute, charming faces. Furthermore, they often omit portions of the biblical accounts and focus on specific moral or character-building lessons. In reality, however, there is nothing “cute” about the Bible, and we do our children a disservice by treating it as we would a good storybook or novel. We are commanded to teach the whole counsel of God, and this counsel includes the portions that are harder to study. In fact, the word of God stands alone as a unique book in its entirety; it is the Lord’s authoritative, inspired, inerrant, and sufficient word.

It’s worth remembering that all believers come to faith in Christ by the Holy Spirit opening their hearts and minds to hear, understand, and believe the Gospel which is found only in the word of God. This same Gospel, moreover, is the means by which we grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ (2 Pet. 3:17-18) after we come to faith. All this—coming to faith and growing in Christ—is brought about by the inner working of the Holy Spirit through His Word. In other words, our salvation is not of our own making (Eph. 2:8); we don’t save ourselves, and we cannot save our children.

 

Studying so we can teach

Before I go any further I want to stress that we can’t teach our children something that we don’t know ourselves. If we’re not personally spending time studying the Word of God, praying and obediently living out our faith with joy, then what exactly are we planning to teach them? Do we really know how to study the Bible? Are we in a local church that rightly divides the word of truth (2 Tim. 2:14-15)? Are we serving the Lord within that local church? These are questions we will humbly need to answer for ourselves.

The way in which we study the Bible will often determine how we teach it to our children. Since we aren’t given permission to teach whatever we want but to teach what the Bible says, it is important for us to follow good rules of biblical interpretation, or hermeneutics. Many of us, though, were never taught how to interpret Scripture, and we may need some basic help. T. Norton Sterrett wrote a very helpful book called How to Understand Your Bible. While it is not inspired, it has proven to be a great resource and may be helpful for anyone learning to read the Bible as God’s inerrant word.

Once we realize the importance of studying the Bible for ourselves, we can echo Paul’s words in 2 Timothy 3:15-17, “…and that from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.”

 

Help them discover the Bible’s meaning

One way to approach contextual Bible study is to do some research on the backgrounds of narrative accounts in biblical history. If our children are old enough, we can let them help us find the author of a particular book of the Bible, the time period it was written, and to whom the book was written. This information gives context and aids in accurate interpretation. Alternatively, we can start with a particular verse and work out from there. What chapter is the verse in, what book of the Bible is it in, what testament is it in? Is this a narrative account? Is it poetry? Is this portion of Scripture descriptive or prescriptive? I think you get the idea.

The Holy Spirit gives believers illumination about what Scripture passages mean; He does not, however, give a new revelation every time we read the same passage. Our children, therefore, will benefit if they learn to ask good questions such as: what do I learn about God from this passage, or what do I understand about mankind from this passage? What do I know of Christ and the plan of redemption from this passage? Where else in the Scriptures is this truth mentioned? Is there something for me to believe, or something for me to obey? What testament am I in? Is this under the old or new covenant? These are very basic principles but very important.

One of the easiest ways we can teach our children the truth of the Bible is to talk with them about what we are currently studying. In fact, we all need to make this sort of conversation a priority, whether we talk with them at the breakfast table, when they get home from school, while driving in the car, or before we put them to bed at night (Deut. 6:6-8). These times of teaching or discussing God’s word along with spending time in prayer are important and can become very meaningful. In our family these biblical discussions produce questions that we answer by going to the Scriptures themselves. By going to the Bible to answer our children’s questions, we are modeling for them “best practices” for Bible study: allowing Scripture to be its own interpreter.

Even young children can begin to learn basic truths from the accounts of creation, the fall of man, Noah, Abraham, David, and so forth. When we teach our kids, therefore, we try to connect the biblical accounts with the doctrines they teach. For example, we tell them that God is sovereign, and then we show them confirming Scripture passages such as those found in Job 38-42 or in the account of Joseph in Genesis 37-50. Furthermore, we are confronted with the fact that the way we approach Scripture must be consistent whether we are talking to children, to grandparents, or are reading for ourselves. While there will be things that we may need to explain in ways that are clear and applicable to our children’s ages and stages, we are never allowed to change the meaning of a passage to make it more palatable or to use it to manipulate anyone to do what we want.

 

Other ways to impart Biblical truth

When our children were very young we would sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to them (Col. 3:16), and as they have gotten older, they have begun to sing along with us. As we choose the songs we sing, however, we’ve discovered how important it is to choose those with words that declare truth—the same truth found in the Bible. If the songs we sing don’t rightly define the God of Scripture, something is amiss, but it’s great when we can trace a worship song or hymn back to the Scripture passage that inspired it. We’ve discovered that the test that we are called to use with the teaching we receive, checking everything we hear against Scripture to see if it is true (Acts 17:11), is the same test we should apply to the songs we sing. We can’t underestimate the influence of music in the lives of children; the words they learn in songs are the words that stay in their heads, form their understandings of Christ and redemption, and shape their world views.

Another great way to help our children learn about God is to study His names. For example, Yahweh is the name He has given to reveal to us that He is the Great I Am, the self-existent God. El Elyon means God Most High, and Elohim means Strong Creator. When studying the names of the Lord, we can turn to passages of Scripture that confirm what we know to be true of Him. For example, in Genesis 1 and 2 we see the Lord as Elohim. In Exodus 3:14 we get to know Him as Yahweh, and in Psalm 91 he is called the Most High. By learning His names, these truths about the Lord become reinforced in the minds of our children and can serve as anchors in the midst of the trials we know they will face in life. In his book Knowledge of the Holy, A.W. Tozer stated, “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us” (p. 9). In other words, it is vital that we give our children an opportunity to come to know the true God as He has revealed Himself in Scripture, and not an imitation. They will not come to a right understanding of Him by trying to find out who He is apart from His word.

As mundane as it might sound, don’t neglect memorizing Scripture; it’s a wonderful way to teach biblical truth even to very young children. In our home we not only memorize it, but we explain to our kids what the content of the verses or passages mean. We are then able to memorize and teach biblical truth simultaneously. In fact, we have found it helpful to memorize single chapters at a time because the context of the passage is much clearer.

With older children, studying church history is a great complement to inductive Bible study. We are living in an age where historical fact is being replaced by subjective, emotive thought. “If it’s not relevant to me, it must not be relevant,” is the post-modern (now post-Christian) philosophy.

In reality, it is important to understand the history of our orthodox faith and what happened to the Church in centuries past. In fact, this history is a great backdrop against which to talk about what is currently going on in the church today. We should not be afraid to discuss the challenges facing Christians around the world in our time. When we do, we can seize the opportunity to pray for our missionaries, either the ones we support personally or the ones supported by our local church. When we pray for our missionaries we come face-to-face with the great sacrifices they make for the Lord Jesus by proclaiming the Gospel to people who have never heard.

 

They watch us pray

Praying for the extended body of Christ brings us to the realization that being part of a local church where there is sound Biblical teaching and fellowship is not only important for our spiritual health as parents but also for our children. As believers we are commanded to have fellowship one with another around truth, and when we’re part of a local church, we worship and serve together for the glory of Christ. Our children need to know what it means to be part of the body of Christ, and we find it a joy to have our children in the main service with us, worshiping and learning from the word of God together as a family.

Praying with and for our children is a powerful way to teach them about who God is. I’m not referring to rote, memorized prayers but to thoughtful prayers prayed according to the pattern of the Lord’s Prayer (Matt. 6:8-10). Our children can learn a lot about our faith by the way in which we pray, and especially for what we pray. First, we need to remember that Jesus taught us to address God as “Father”. When we talk to our Father, we are declaring what we know to be true of His character and what he has done for us in Christ, and we confess our sins knowing that He is faithful to forgive. Then, knowing that in Him we are forgiven, we also proclaim that He is faithful, and He will answer according to His holy will (Matt. 6:10). Our children are paying attention when we pray whether we like it or not and will often mimic what they see and hear us do. Knowing they pay attention, we need to pray not only with them but especially for them. It is powerful for them to hear what we bring to the Father on their behalf. We should pray for their salvation by grace alone through faith alone in the Lord Jesus Christ and that they would be used by God for His glory (Eph. 2:8).

Ultimately, there is no formula for teaching our children the Word of God. As parents, however, we are to teach what we know to be true of God and His Word. If we don’t know much, then we need to become students of Scripture (2 Tim. 2:15). Furthermore, the lives we live should make it evident to our children that we love the Lord Jesus and desire to serve Him faithfully. Our children know if we are faking it or not, and they will make many conclusions about God and His eternal word as they observe whether we live under its authority or whether we try to place ourselves over it.

Children don’t stay children for long, and we need to trust God to give us His wisdom to teach them according to His ways. Our desire is not only for their eternal salvation but that the Lord will use them to teach His glorious gospel to the next generation.

As believing parents we know that our ability to faithfully parent our children is only possible through our Lord Jesus. We can commit ourselves to Him and declare His faithfulness along with his brother Jude who wrote, “Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen” (Jude 1:24-25). †

 

Republished from Proclamation!  |  Summer 2014

---

Amy Herwig grew up as the daughter of an Independent Baptist pastor. Today she lives in Highland, California, with her husband Bruce and their daughter and two sons. She and her family attend Trinity Church in Redlands, California. She enjoys her role as a home-schooling mother and finds teaching the word of God to her children to be one of her greatest joys. She currently serves in Trinity’s women’s ministry as a small group leader. [2014]