As I write this on Monday evening, March 16, I think back to three days ago. I couldn’t have predicted that my world would look the way it does today! Furthermore, I’m quite certain that by the time this piece is published on Friday, life will look even more different, and probably in ways that I can’t imagine right now.
I first heard of the novel Corona virus, though not by name, in January. It was likely in the news, but I probably wouldn’t have heard of it until weeks afterwards if I hadn’t had family traveling in and around Hong Kong during that time, and there was some concern about their ability to return home. In February, the virus was the topic of a couple of conversations at FAF in Loma Linda, but I still didn’t give it much thought. Living in a rural area in a sparsely populated country, I suppose I felt that we would be safe from, or at least far less affected by, something as dangerous as I heard described.
Within the last four days, we have gone from recommended to strongly-requested social-distancing, to full-school closures, and to being requested to stay home completely if we have any signs of cold or flu. As a homeschooling family, these mandates don’t affect us as much as they do many families, but there is a palpable difference between staying home because we WANT to, and staying home because we HAVE to. The effect these mandates (as opposed to choices) have on people as well on local and world economies is not lost on me.
I don’t know about you, but cataclysmic world events tend to send my mind back to one of the favorite topics in Adventism: end times. This one has been no different for me, as I have found my mind wandering from thoughts about how fragile our daily lives and routines are to how big—yet small—the world is. I realize that everything could change at the drop of a hat (or a virus), and we really cannot know or predict when this planet’s time is up.
I have wondered about my Adventist friends and family; how are they viewing these events and circumstances? When I was an Adventist, a pandemic like this would have sent my mind into frantic preparations for end times to start. Concurrently I would have bargained that the end might hold off a little longer because I was not yet ready—not ready to leave my earthly life behind, and not ready to stand before God without a mediator. These were frightening thoughts for me.
Who’s right?
Eschatology is not something that I have studied deeply. Perhaps it’s a little bit of Adventist PTSD, if I may use that term, that keeps me from digging into it; perhaps it’s that I have far less time to really “dig in” than I did before children and homeschooling—or perhaps it’s a combination of the two. Nevertheless, right now I am comfortable not knowing all the ins and outs of the different views. I am happy to trust the Lord, knowing that His plans are good, holy, and unthwartable.
I have wondered if this virus crisis is not a little bit unnerving for those of us who are former Adventists because of the indoctrination that first formed our worldview. I wonder if some of us are having intrusive thoughts such as, “What if the Adventists are right?”
Some reading this may have been out of Adventism for many years and feel secure enough that this doubt doesn’t enter their minds, but people are leaving Adventism all the time. For those who are newly out or in the process of leaving, something as big as this pandemic may be highly unnerving. With all the uncertainty swirling around, thoughts such as “What if I am wrong? Maybe I should keep the Sabbath?” may drive one to panic.
If this agony of doubt and fear describes your reaction, know that you are not alone. Even those of us who have been out of Adventism for years or decades understand what it is like to have these thoughts. Know that they still come to some of our minds, unbidden, and take heart that it does get easier to speak truth to them and to send them on their way as time goes on.
You may suddenly feel urgent about figuring out what the Bible says about eschatology as opposed to what Adventism taught us. At the same time, your new compulsion to understand may cause fear and uncertainty which are directly linked to your Adventist background, and your anxiety may leave you unable to devote time or energy into such a daunting study.
If this welter of anxiety and confusion describes you, please find peace and encouragement in these words: contrary to what we were taught in Adventism, God is sovereignly sitting on His throne. There is nothing out of His control or sight, and He has promised that ALL things will work together for our GOOD and His GLORY (Romans 8:28).
Adventism taught us that God is working “with” us, constantly course-correcting, depending on how we exercise our free will. What a terrifying thought, to be living in a world where its Creator is at the mercy of the whims of his fallen and selfish creation! While it can be hard to reconcile why a good God would allow such pain and suffering, it helps me to remember the omniscience of God He is doing things that I cannot see. I can lean on His promises to me which cannot fail. He has promised to be with us IN our trouble, not always to rescue us FROM it. We can know from His word that He will be our refuge and our strength, and that while we WILL have trouble in this world, ultimately, He has overcome. One day those who have trusted in Him WILL be with Him.
We are secure
In last week’s podcast, Nikki and Colleen spoke of the Noahic covenant and pointed out some words that I had not noticed, in particular, before. As the events of the past week have unfolded, I have been reminded of them several times:
While the earth remains, Seedtime and harvest, And cold and heat, And summer and winter, And day and night Shall not cease (Genesis 8:22).
The earth will pass away one day; Scripture tells us so. We cannot know when that day will be, and it may happen on the heels of change as rapid as the changes we have seen in the last days and weeks. The one thing we can know is that, until that time, we are in the care of a good and merciful God who sees us, knows us, and loves us.
“Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God. Indeed, the very hairs on your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than man sparrows” (Luke 12:6,7).
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