More than a book of memory verses
COLLEEN MOORE TINKER
Reading the Bible was a chore. It was almost as dry as a textbook—in some cases, even drier. I knew I must read it; we Adventists were The People of the Book. Ours was the only church to base all of its doctrines on the Bible alone. But it was hard to understand, and some things were not only difficult, they were troublesome.
The prooftexts I knew were clear. They made sense, and our doctrines fit neatly among them. Some passages, though, especially in the New Testament, seemed to contradict some of the doctrines, but I knew those passages were obscure because they addressed certain cultural problems unique to the churches in Paul’s day.
I knew that during the Time of Trouble, “they” would confiscate our Bibles, and the only thing we’d have left would be the verses we had memorized. I knew I really should be memorizing scripture so I’d have defenses on the day “they” dragged me into court to convict me for my loyalty to the truth. If I went into those awful days unfortified with memorized texts, I would be vulnerable to their tricks and taunts.
I knew all these things, but I just couldn’t concentrate when I tried to read. The Bible was like medicine; it saved your life, but it was hard to take it in.
Niggling Doubts
I was twelve when some unsettling questions began to surface in my mind. How did we know we had The Truth? Of course, I knew the Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses and Catholics were dead wrong, but how did we know we were right? We read the Bible and found soul sleep, a pre-advent judgment, dietary laws, annihilation, the Sabbath, and three angels’ messages. Other “Christians” read the Bible and found Easter, eternal souls, an ever-present Holy Spirit, eternal hell, and permission to worship on Sunday and wear diamonds. Who, I wondered, was the final arbiter of Biblical truth? Was the Bible even true?
For many years Psalms and Proverbs with an occasional foray into Ecclesiastes was usually all I could manage when I sat down to read. Those books resonated with my experience. The rest of the Bible was too confusing.
Reading With Openness
In my mid-30’s I seriously began to try to read the Bible. I had been through some devastating life experiences, and I had new questions and doubts. My trauma had left me convinced that God was real and God was love, but giant cracks had appeared in my Adventist underpinnings.
I believed the Bible was the word of God. I believed (as I had been taught) that all doctrine had to be based on the Bible. I also believed the Bible took precedence over E.G. White’s writings. I did not, however, believe the Bible was infallible. I believed human authors had written it using their own experiences and words to interpret the truths God had revealed to them. I believed that their experiences had led them to see God’s revelations colored by their cultural milieu. Certain things they wrote made sense to them, but they didn’t work for us because we had different issues than the people faced in Bible times.
In the early ’90’s I began to team-teach a Sabbath School class in a large Adventist church. My team teacher and I used The Quarterly for our lesson topics, but we created our own lessons. We covered many Adventist subjects, including the Sabbath, and as I prepared for those lessons, it became clear to me that what The Quarterly said and what the Bible said were not always the same. The Quarterly, in fact, often seemed superficial, never really examining what the Bible said about the subjects. I became critically aware that I had to understand what the Bible actually taught. If our doctrines were based on the Bible, I had to know what the Bible really said.
I began to pray each time I sat down to study, asking God to help me to read the Bible without an EGW overlay. I asked Him to help me read it and understand what it really said, not just to read it and automatically interpret the verses according to my Adventist understanding.
Gradually the Bible began to come alive. I began to look forward to my study times. Some passages still confused me, but at least the Bible was no longer boring.
In the mid-’90’s, my husband and I began a three-year, ongoing Bible study with our Christian neighbors. We felt a need to study with people who did not have an Adventist understanding of scripture. We wanted to be sure that we were understanding what the Bible really said, not just what we thought it said.
One night made an indelible memory. We were reading a chapter in Revelation together, and Richard and I offered an interpretation about a somewhat difficult passage. Our neighbor looked at us in some surprise and said, “Where do you find that in the Bible?”
It was Richard’s and my turn to be surprised. We thought we had expunged all EGW interpretations from our minds; we thought we were approaching each study with complete openness. We realized with embarrassment that we had just offered an explanation right out of The Great Controversy.
The Living Word
Our neighbors listened with growing amazement as we explained the role and importance of Ellen White in the Adventist church. We told them the many ways our understandings had already changed. As we talked, we described several Adventist perceptions of passages we had already discussed in Revelation, and they looked at us in bewilderment, repeatedly asking how we—and EGW—supported those interpretations.
After our friends left that evening, Richard and I realized with a sense of wonder and joy that God had guided us to study with them. If we had not had someone who didn’t know EGW with whom to discuss Bible passages, especially those that Adventists have used to defend their “distinctive doctrines”, we might never had discovered the pockets of Adventist understanding that were deeply embedded in our minds. They were planted in us so early that they seemed to be organic. We had no idea that we still hosted unbiblical understandings that colored our theology.
As our studies continued we found ourselves falling in love with the Jesus we found revealed in the Bible. The Scriptures seemed to be a living organism. Each time we opened them we learned something new. We began to see that each book we read meshed perfectly with the others. The Bible no longer seemed confusing and contradictory. It began to make sense as a unified whole. The old proof texts on which we had hung our doctrines had different meanings when we read them in context. The New Testament no longer seemed to contradict the Old.
Our life-long respect for EGW’s “inspired” writings died. When we realized how twisted our understanding of the Bible had been because of her interpretations, we released her. We no longer needed her. We had the living word, the Bible, and we had something else: the Holy Spirit. When we released EGW from her foundational place in our hearts, we experienced the reality of the Holy Spirit teaching us and guiding us. He took the place she had held, and we discovered what it meant to be born from above, to experience a completely new reality in Christ.
We realized that the Holy Spirit had been guiding us for years, gently prompting us to want to know the truth; putting us in situations where we could learn and discover God’s word. Now the Holy Spirit in us awakened us to the Holy Spirit’s inspiration in the Bible. We discovered that the Bible is absolutely reliable. It is a unified whole; it is alive with truth because it is inspired by God.
How To Begin Reading
Our journey out of Adventism and into Biblical truth has given us some specific understanding of how to read the Bible in a way that teaches us what it really says instead of using it to reinforce our already-formed opinions.
Ask God to make your heart open to truth. Sometimes we want God to bless us spiritually, but we don’t want to change our understanding of Him or of His will for us. Ask God to soften your heart and to reveal to you the beliefs and attitudes He wants you to submit to Him.
Pray for the Holy Spirit to guide you as you read the Bible. Each time you read the word, ask God to open the eyes of your heart to know the truth He wants you to learn that day from the passages you read.
Specifically ask God to help you to be able to read the Bible without denominational overlays. We often grow up with doctrinal understandings that we automatically read into the biblical texts. These understandings are not necessarily in the passages. We need the Holy Spirit to show us the truth in the words of the Bible with new clarity.
Ask God to guide you to someone with whom you can study the Bible honestly. We often need to confirm our scriptural insights with someone in order to know that we are reading the Bible accurately. Many of us needed pure Bible teaching as we left the Adventist church. God will guide you to an individual, a church, or a Bible study group where you will be able to study the Bible with scriptural integrity.
Let go of unbiblical authority you have honored in your heart. The Bible is the infallible word of God inspired by the Holy Spirit. We do not need a prophet, a messenger, or a modern-day apostle to interpret the scriptures for us. Jesus sent us the Holy Spirit to reveal truth to us, and he is faithful to teach us as we open our hearts to him in honesty and humility.
Watch your hermeneutics. When you read a passage in the Bible, first ask yourself: What did this mean to the first people to whom this was written? Only after you answer that question can you safely ask yourself what it means to you. A Bible passage cannot mean something completely different to you today than it meant to the first readers.
Be willing to grow. As the Holy Spirit begins to show you the truth in the Bible, let it change you. Trust God to lead you where he wants you to go, and release your cherished beliefs and fears to him. Let his love heal your heart, and let his peace and his Spirit replace the error you unwittingly honored in your life.
A New Reality
When we are born from above, we enter a new reality. We become spiritually alive, and we are truly new creations. It is frightening and risky to embark on a journey of faith and Bible study that may take us away from what we’ve always known. But God is faithful. He will never leave us nor forsake us, and even when we feel as if we’re losing ourselves by finding His truth, He holds us as we step by faith into that unknown future.
When we begin to study the Bible with eyes of faith and hearts desiring truth, we discover Jesus. We find our reasons for living. We discover freedom.
Praise God that he loves us and revealed himself through His Son. Praise Jesus that He came to earth and paid the price for our sin. Praise the Holy Spirit for inspiring the Scriptures and for revealing truth to our hearts.
Praise God, from whom all blessings flow!
Editor’s note: You may read Colleen Tinker’s story on the web at:
www.formeradventist.com/stories
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